It's your call. You need to find a reason to keep living, and I hope you do.

I agree 100% with your take on electroshock. It's barbaric, nearly as horrific as lobotomy, another psychological fetish that was contemporary with EST for a while until it was exposed as a method of control, a sort of non-lethal euthanasia that benefited those who would otherwise be forced to live with someone who goes around bothering people or is an embarrassment to the family.

Yes, lobotomies were performed that casually. I have no idea why EST is still being used.