My family is... Not a healthy or happy one. I imagine most people know this by now. Yet, for reasons that I honestly do not understand, my parents are still together. Toxic, painful, continuously arguing, but still together...
The same cannot be said for extended family. Divorces everywhere. A number of children out of wedlock. Painful intergenerational relations on both side. Lots of "not talking". Lost of... Honestly, relationships that are far more negative than they are positive. As the black sheep "loser" of the family, I can't tell you how shit my relationship with nearly all my cousins is, right now. I could, I suppose, blame myself for that, but I really don't think it is that simple...
I actually don't think this is that uncommon, where I live. Sure, most people don't have family quite as toxic as my own, however divorce is utterly ubiquitous. Siblings not getting along is probably more common than not. And honestly, it feels like people almost expect families to behave like this - not communicating, not really talking, and generally... Not behaving like civilised adults. At least amongst the majority "white" population, in addition to the "blak" population (among whom it is most definitely even worse, lol), this is... All too common.
Thoughts? What's it like for you lot, where you live? Do you get along with your extended family? Are you close to them? I realise that I am almost certainly an outlier, where my family are fucking shit, in addition to being the "black sheep loser to end all black sheep losers", but... I'm just curious.
I like the idea that "family is the people you choose to include in it", but I am yet to find my... "One". I'm honestly yet to really find anyone. So I don't have that to have as my "core". I'm sure it's very different for those that do. Unfortunately, though, I'm not sure I will ever even find that...
So yeah. Pretty blackpilled about "family", at the moment, after mounting betrayals, I have to be honest. Would appreciate some... Alternative insights, if your life experience differs in that way.
I know my wife is from a divisive family. Her brother is heavily medicated by state order and can turn into a Batman villain when not. When we were watching Avatar the last Airbender my wife sat up and said, "Azula is like my sister!"
My mother in law loves all the drama because then she can be spiky. Imagine Roseanne and you're getting close.
My brother hasn't spoken to me for five years because his wife went insane. My family has never looked forward to a funeral, but that's one.
What I suspect is that pregnancy causes mental health problems, and can be exacerbated by previous mental problems. Women are not told about this, and instead are taught this is them breaking free. The entire push started at women and then expanded to what it is now.
Meanwhile the spiky types rebel in the drama and actions.
I saw almost everything being pushed now in highschool in the 90's. It's the reason why so many faiths started to declare the importance of families then. Red leaning rural areas were talking about women working as equals, and left leaning inner cities were saying the same thing and meaning sexual deviancy and retaliation for the past.
What I've learned from it is sometimes I have to yell back at my wife. She's caught up in drama and can't get out. When the episode ends, she's my wife again and realizes her mistakes. If I had just let her bulldoze me with spikiness it would just get worse. She's accustomed to Batman villains as family members, so I need to adjust to help her get away from those thoughts.
I see the same for the world and all it's spikiness.