The other day I was at my local comic book store (back issues and dollar bin of course) and since I had nothing to do that day I went over to the table top gaming section and some people playing DnD were taking a break and since I've always wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons or something like it I talked to the Dungeon Master and he was very friendly and let me watch their next session. All this to say it really infuriates me how the whole "toxic nerd" or "toxic fandom" perception has become a reality.
Nerds (not meant as an insult of course since I'm one) have always been a pretty open group if you show an interest in the hobby. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten recommendations in this group, especially with Anime/Manga since I am pretty much a normie in those areas (working my way out of normie status with Anime). Also, there have been numerous times where I've talked someone's ear off because they asked me where to start reading comics of certain characters, what Star Wars EU books they should read, endless discussion about Skyrim lore, Science Fiction books, and the list goes on. Also we all remember online forums in the 90s and early 00's.
I just despise how nerdiness is seen as so horrible now simply because people who have been invested in a book, game, or hobby are demonized when some douchebag takes over the IP and makes unnecessary or pointless changes. Rings of Power being the latest example. Heaven forbid as well if you go into the comments section of a gaming site and have the weird idea that a gaming site is for gaming news/info and not for political diatribes of the journalists.
So, who do you blame most for this? Us nerds for being too friendly and not gate keeping properly? Shills in media? The rise of the fake geek and the trendiness of "nerd stuff" to people who then get jobs in things they don't really care about? People like Anita and Zoe?
Another big factor I haven't seen mentioned yet, these weirdo guys and cliche girls that have taken over nerd culture for movies and games were able to organize and spread their cancerous ideas because of Tumblr.
Where before, the popular girls into nerd things would never admit it out loud and would keep it to themselves, on Tumblr they had a place to share their passion...and then share their dumbass ideas for making mediums worse.
Also all these types from Tumblr were millennial children and have now grown up and work in the media industries of news, movies, games, etc. except they kept their toxic online personalities and brought it with them, ruining everything.