I don't have a high enough understanding to state any of that definitively, but I'd say your mostly over the target.

Somewhere in this mess, a conspiracy of North American teachers, frustrated by these conflicting returns, successfully lobby many calculator-making companies to ditch PEJMDAS (the right one) and only adhere to PEMDAS (the wrong one)...To put it plainly, American teachers bullied calculator companies to only give them calculators that abandon thousands of years of standard notational convention.

Seems like, more or less. That's my least/favorite part. Bruh, teachers should not be writing the rules of math. I get PEMDAS is a nice mnemonic, and mostly works. But if it's not completely clear, it's not the best way. But they seem so obsessed by it that they want calculators to use it because it's what they're teaching. That's moronic.

I think mathematics is a complicated enough subject that maybe high school teachers (maybe even including middle school teachers, not sure who was lobbying) shouldn't be (re)writing the rules. Look, you're technically math professionals, in that you get paid for your math. But you don't use math. You're not in the math field, you're in the teaching field. Are they dumb? No, I think math teachers tend to be cooler than the teachers for plenty of other subjects, even. No hate. But they're certainly not at the level of the field where they should be writing the rules for things they don't even understand.

...such as Google Calculator, which obviously has oversized importance due to widespread availability and usage--continue to spread the cult of PEMDAS.

Weird thing, I think it was at the end of that first video I linked, Wolfram Alpha mostly uses PEMDAS...mostly. But in certain cases ends up using something that looks more like PEJMDAS. It all depends on your input; some phrasing involving variables (correctly) solves juxtaposition first.

The whole thing is pretty crazy.

Also, imagine the sheer fucking arrogance to tell a calculator company to change their methodology because it's what they teach.