Just that. I know that’s rather… Odd, perhaps, and overly “wholesome” of me, but I just wanted to say that I genuinely appreciated it. All of it.
I’m not used to that level of kindness, from random internet strangers (Reddit mostly isn’t, except, I’ve found, from a few more niche subs, and some of the sporting ones, oddly), or on the internet more broadly (see: Facebook).
I’m also just… Not used to people being kind (I hate that word. But it seems to be the best for the situation). People in my life… Haven’t been that. Not family. Rarely friends, for any lasting length of time. So kindness, when it comes, is… Frankly kind of disarming. Like it feels like I don’t deserve it, almost..?
Terrible, I know. I have to work on being kind to myself. Then at least I don’t have to rely on anyone else for that, I guess, lol.
Anyway, just wanted you all to know that I really appreciated it, and it meant more to me than you might… Perhaps feel it should have.
All the best, and I’ll shut up, now. I’m going to try to put my pain and… Adrenaline, I guess (rather than “hurt”, or “anger”) into heavy exercise, so that at least it goes somewhere… “Positive”, i guess, if nothing else.
Thanks again. Keep it real, and stay honest. Oh, and fuck the Great Reset/all of this Covid bullshit. Do your best to fight back, as I have, and continue to.
Thoughts on the inevitable (in my experience) post-funeral snacks and/or drinks..? Essentially like a wedding reception, I guess, but without the fun…
I stayed for that last time, and it really… Made the pain and fighting worse. I think it also damaged a couple of the only relationships I cared about with that (other) side of the family, too, so…
Idk. Do you think I should just… Not go to that bit? Or I guess I can stick it out, but obviously I really don’t want to spend more time with these people than I have to… Clearly, lol.
Yeah I'd skip reception if at all possible. You're only going to pay respects to grandpa.
Apparently I’m now informed I have to meet up before the funeral to plan eulogies and ensure we aren’t “conflicting” with one another (because I’m expected to speak, apparently. Without any warning or prep time), so…
Yeah. I’ll try and assert that much, haha.
And yes, my family is literally this bad. I know, I know.
I really wish I could flip them off in the eulogy. Know I shouldn’t, but… Yeah.
It’s hard, because the old man really hurt my grandma. For decades (I’m not sure about physically. But certainly… All the other things.) I’m going to have to balance all that in whatever “speech” I give, unfortunately…
I only realised that later in life, when it became apparent why she hadn’t gone in to visit him… 😞
My family refuses to acknowledge that, unfortunately.