In the last few days, I’ve become really, really Ill with something. Some of you will know of my mental struggles, and that I wasn’t exactly in “peak physical condition” even before this, but this is the sickest I’ve probably ever been,..
Certainly it’s the most medical treatment I’ve had in years, and, by the end, it’ll be just about the second-most time I’ve spent in and out of hospital… It’s fucking terrible. And if certain doctors are right, my quality of life may have just changed, permanently, just like that. Completely randomly…
To put it into perspective, I can barely read this, now, as I write it. I can barely read your posts. I can’t spell, now, and my cognitive… Abilities, are way off. But it’s the sight that most concerns me, and knowing that, if what I have been told is right, my whole life may have just changed…
Consequently, I just don’t… Care. I don’t care about Baldwin. I care about the woman who was called, and the director, but I don’t… Care about pinning down fault. I don’t care that my country has just sacked a cartoonist for criticisong the government. I don’t care that everything is going to shit, in the western world. I’m dying. I just… I don’t have time, or energy, to fight those battles anymore.
So… I’m right here with you, and I support your battles, guys. I support fighting back. But right now, I can barely write a grammatically-correct paragraph, or even just… Function. I can’t work. I can’t drive.
So you have to fight this for me, now. Keep up the fight.
And if this DOES progress, and I, I dunno, decide “Fuck it, I may as well become a Paralympian now”, and I make it to Paris or something, I’ll keep you posted, lol.
Fuck, it physically hurt to type that out on my phone. That’s how sick I am. 😔
RipMe.
I was mostly being facetious, but am also somewhat genuinely curious.
I've never personally been on high dose steroids before but I used to work in healthcare so I know about all the wonderful side effects in theory.
Unfortunately, I'd imagine most hallucinations people experience aren't pleasant/happy ones.
Yeah, honestly, it’s… If you’ve ever had chickenpox, or even just a really bad infection, that’s what it feels like right now, lol…
Though I haven’t really hallucinated any monsters yet, ha.
You know Rusted Root - “Send Me on My Way”..? I’ve had that in my head for the last several hours, which is… Novel. 😏
Mostly just really shaky, though. It’s funny, they told me I could drive to hospital today, for my third dose, if I had to…
It’s like, “Lol no, girl. I can’t fucking see road signs, and now I can’t even hold something without shaking. Y’all really want me to drive??!”
As I’m sure you’d know from experience, they (mostly) try hard to reassure you, but yeah, nah, I ain’t up to functioning rn, lol… I can barely stand! 😂