I'm feeling pretty... Blackpilled, at the moment. Maybe even worse than that. Things are bad. Things keep getting worse. Not just politically, but... As a human being. All the failed relationships, all the lost friendships, all the... Shit, that has happened in my life, is sort of getting to me pretty bad.
But more than that, it feels like we're losing. Like things... Are spiralling out of control (in Aus, but also outside it). I literally can't look at ANY popular media, or any sort of news, without being utterly bombarded by it.
So... If you've got a good "whitepill", or just... Something that counteracts all this... Existential angst, and feelings of sheer... Doom, I would appreciate hearing it, I guess. Thanks. While it lasts, and while I last.
This is incredibly difficult when those things directly affect my life (at least for me). For example, my employer was weeks ahead of Biden on the vaccine/testing mandate. I've thus far managed to avoid any direct changes as I've been working from home since they announced the requirement, but I've probably only got another couple weeks before the issue is forced.
I have a 'goal' to alleviate the issues this is causing, but actually making steps toward that goal is difficult because due to how drained I've become I'm having difficulty even working up motivation to come up with a proper plan (something which I didn't use to find difficult, even when under significant stress/depression.) I could just quit to alleviate most of the stress, but that leaves me without an income and as yet no other reliable means of getting one.
I know that my emotions shouldn't control me, but I've come to a point where I feel there are few acceptable logical solutions remaining and until I have a specific plan to achieve those I can't even force myself through the steps I find distasteful. My old methods of withdrawing inward until I find a solution hasn't worked for a while, and no one else has, as yet, been able to give me a path that doesn't involve waiting out my current situation (or requires something of me that I've lost the drive to do on my own.)
I guess that's enough venting. I hope that most of you are faring better than me (at least emotionally).