The report serves as a pre-emptive strike against their position, you have the first word, so you're more likely to win if it went to court for unfair dismissal.
The report serves as a pre-emptive strike against their position, you have the first word, so you're more likely to win if it went to court for unfair dismissal.
You are too knowledgeable to be this naive brother. I have it on pure experience alone that this is far from guaranteed.
Ever seen the stupid theories about protecting yourself from Covid that say every method has flaws and that you have to use all of them? It's kind of the same.
Not trusting women is the vaccination, it takes out most high risk situations.
Keeping conversations strictly work-related is the mask wearing, largely useless but it makes you feel safe.
Avoiding them is the distancing, it lowers the risk of them seeking you out.
Reporting them first if anything is attempted is like getting treated after infection.
Knowing a good lawyer is like going to hospital. It gives you the best chance of surviving a severe infection.
Of course, there's always the chance you still die. (get fired, in the case of the analogy.)
See, I have found the opposite side of the coin far more valid and safe. Playing their games, being in their circle, and generally manipulating them back for my own safety.
It keeps suspicions low, their opinion of you positive, and allows you to know their machinations as they are unfolding rather than once they have already come to pass.
Which is the point I was getting at, keeping your distance and all those methods only serve to make you stand out. The one standing out gets the wrong kind of attention. And often times gets the "creepy" label, which is all downhill from there because "creepy" men are less than human to a woman. She will have minimal guilt or hesitation about what she does to you.
Especially in my line of work, where I have dozens of them working above and below me, many of whom report directly to me. I don't know what you do for work, but it sounds far closer to office/techy if you have those kinds of options. For me, and likely a lot of people, you are constantly forced to interact and socialize with those around you.
Anything less in an HR complaint about "excluding" and "discrimination" anyway. Something I have been hit with for attempting to watch my tone around a woman to not be as crass/offensive early in my career.
That's fair, different things work for different people and different industries.
I operate on the principle that they already hate me just for existing near them. I don't bother trying to get positive opinions from them or taking part in their socializing. My feeling is more like the strategy of a captured POW. Never talk. Anything you say will be used to harm you later.
The labels don't bother me, my label for them that I have in my head blows it away. Again, I'm operating on the assumption that they already have zero remorse about ruining me.
I had one of them to mentor once. I thought about deliberately fucking up until they thought she was ruining my work, but in the end I just tried to stick to rigid work-related conversation and made sure there was always other people with clear line of sight to us and my hands were visibly on the desk, not near her. Worst fucking weeks ever, I think the anger might have even come through here, my posts were way further out of line than usual. The fake niceness pissed me off more than anything, pretending she actually wanted to know about me and my life. I think literally everything I told her that wasn't for work was completely false, except for my name, because someone else would have noticed.
I did get hit with a couple of those. First one I tried to fight by saying I had difficulty socializing, but they tried to put me in some kind of meetings for it, so I resigned. Second one, I resigned on the spot. I am so lucky to have the life situation I do, which allows me to do this.
Well, he wasn't fired either.
The report serves as a pre-emptive strike against their position, you have the first word, so you're more likely to win if it went to court for unfair dismissal.
You are too knowledgeable to be this naive brother. I have it on pure experience alone that this is far from guaranteed.
Nothing is guaranteed.
Ever seen the stupid theories about protecting yourself from Covid that say every method has flaws and that you have to use all of them? It's kind of the same.
Not trusting women is the vaccination, it takes out most high risk situations.
Keeping conversations strictly work-related is the mask wearing, largely useless but it makes you feel safe.
Avoiding them is the distancing, it lowers the risk of them seeking you out.
Reporting them first if anything is attempted is like getting treated after infection.
Knowing a good lawyer is like going to hospital. It gives you the best chance of surviving a severe infection.
Of course, there's always the chance you still die. (get fired, in the case of the analogy.)
See, I have found the opposite side of the coin far more valid and safe. Playing their games, being in their circle, and generally manipulating them back for my own safety.
It keeps suspicions low, their opinion of you positive, and allows you to know their machinations as they are unfolding rather than once they have already come to pass.
Which is the point I was getting at, keeping your distance and all those methods only serve to make you stand out. The one standing out gets the wrong kind of attention. And often times gets the "creepy" label, which is all downhill from there because "creepy" men are less than human to a woman. She will have minimal guilt or hesitation about what she does to you.
Especially in my line of work, where I have dozens of them working above and below me, many of whom report directly to me. I don't know what you do for work, but it sounds far closer to office/techy if you have those kinds of options. For me, and likely a lot of people, you are constantly forced to interact and socialize with those around you.
Anything less in an HR complaint about "excluding" and "discrimination" anyway. Something I have been hit with for attempting to watch my tone around a woman to not be as crass/offensive early in my career.
That's fair, different things work for different people and different industries.
I operate on the principle that they already hate me just for existing near them. I don't bother trying to get positive opinions from them or taking part in their socializing. My feeling is more like the strategy of a captured POW. Never talk. Anything you say will be used to harm you later.
The labels don't bother me, my label for them that I have in my head blows it away. Again, I'm operating on the assumption that they already have zero remorse about ruining me.
I had one of them to mentor once. I thought about deliberately fucking up until they thought she was ruining my work, but in the end I just tried to stick to rigid work-related conversation and made sure there was always other people with clear line of sight to us and my hands were visibly on the desk, not near her. Worst fucking weeks ever, I think the anger might have even come through here, my posts were way further out of line than usual. The fake niceness pissed me off more than anything, pretending she actually wanted to know about me and my life. I think literally everything I told her that wasn't for work was completely false, except for my name, because someone else would have noticed.
I did get hit with a couple of those. First one I tried to fight by saying I had difficulty socializing, but they tried to put me in some kind of meetings for it, so I resigned. Second one, I resigned on the spot. I am so lucky to have the life situation I do, which allows me to do this.