Just wait for the, "Venus represents the theological objectification of women as sex objects by early misogynistic white men who weren't content with simply colonizing earth, so they sought to spread their toxic masculinity to even the planets and stars above!"
I think I sound pretty close! I'm sure the New York Times will be posting articles like this within the week.
Next would be: "The name Jupiter is a relic of our patriarchal history, celebrating a time when powerful male deities took mortal women prisoner, subjecting them to rape and abuse. Women should be able to look into the sky at night, without being reminded of the atrocities inflicted upon their foremothers and sisters. From now on, the planet Jupiter will be known as 'Harriet Tubman'."
"Mars is named after the Roman god of war, befitting the toxic masculinity shown by the patriarchy even during the times of the so-called cultured Roman Empire. Since we do not want peace-loving people to get triggered by thoughts of war and violence whenever they see the red planet in the sky, we have opted to change its name from Mars to Big Brother so people will learn how to love each other like brothers siblings."
Just wait for the, "Venus represents the theological objectification of women as sex objects by early misogynistic white men who weren't content with simply colonizing earth, so they sought to spread their toxic masculinity to even the planets and stars above!"
I think I sound pretty close! I'm sure the New York Times will be posting articles like this within the week.
Next would be: "The name Jupiter is a relic of our patriarchal history, celebrating a time when powerful male deities took mortal women prisoner, subjecting them to rape and abuse. Women should be able to look into the sky at night, without being reminded of the atrocities inflicted upon their foremothers and sisters. From now on, the planet Jupiter will be known as 'Harriet Tubman'."
"Mars is named after the Roman god of war, befitting the toxic masculinity shown by the patriarchy even during the times of the so-called cultured Roman Empire. Since we do not want peace-loving people to get triggered by thoughts of war and violence whenever they see the red planet in the sky, we have opted to change its name from Mars to Big Brother so people will learn how to love each other like
brotherssiblings."