TeeSpring Cancels Antifa
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"It'S iN tHe NAmE!"
Dateline: Heaven
In a surprising move, God has renamed Himself to God-That-Totally-Exists. He reports that this is part of His new Antifa-inspired rebranding effort to tap in to the wider market of people who have previously refused to acknowledge His existence.
Giving a rare interview, God-That-Totally-Exists said "I have to admit I was surprised when I found out this was even possible. I invented this whole language thing so I could talk the universe into existence and the idea of permanently baking things like intent and moral certitude into otherwise unrelated nouns was definitely not in the original design spec. If it were I would've suggested Adam name pigs 'disgusting' instead and saved My chosen people a lot of trouble. After all, why have tons of dietary strictures if you can just encode abhorrence and vileness straight into bacon?"
Asked if He'd be shortening His new name to GTTE, He said "No, I'm going the Prince route and picking a symbol. It's not finalized or anything but we are in talks with Wal-Mart for use of the smiley. I figure if My name's got existence nailed down I might as well see if we can also corner happiness with the abbreviation, right?"
He then said "Checkmate, atheists!", manifested a microphone and dropped it on the floor, and left the room by levitating straight through the ceiling.
Dateline is a true crime show though
Not sure if a joke or not.
The dateline is the opening line of a news report, sometimes rendered in a different font like small caps, that states the location and date (though the date is often omitted, amusingly enough) of the described event. It's a very old meme that when reading a paper report for another medium the newscaster specifically declares when he's reading the dateline. It might have been used unironically back in the 1940s and 1950s, but I can only firsthand recall it being used in parody: The Muppet newscaster would occasionally do it, for instance. The US version of the game Rampage on the Commodore 64 did as well.
Wasn't a joke, I'm a big true crime fan. My bad for the misunderstanding.
"So when are you guys moving to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, then? The name sounds awesome, and that's all that matters, right?"