I'm not what I'd call a Christian, although I pray in church occasionally. Raised Catholic. Abandoned it in favour of pseudo-nihilist, Nietzschean outlook (I've never read Nietzsche, but anyone can figure his shit out intuitively). Recently, I solved all nihilist impulses through thorough self-reflection, inspired by the ever-shifting epistemologies of the covid pandemic and some philosophical reading. Self-preservation, fear, loneliness.... these did not factor in.

I think perhaps Christianity doesn't tell the full tale of human consciousness but it tells a fuller tale than secular 'rational' materialism. I have some disdain for the idea of utilitarian Christianity - as in, 'we need it because think of the alternative' - but maybe that's because I have extreme disdain for utilitarianism in general.

I'm not devout, nor atheist nor one of Dawkins 'cultural Christians', but I do pray to Christ sometimes.