It's revictimizing them all over again. To even ask them puts them into the spotlight and puts the pressure of public reputation on them. There's no ethical way to do this without incidentally bullying the person into an unrealistic outcome.

And it does not fly over their heads. They're all narcissistic manipulators. They know what they are doing. They're injuring the interests of a child in order to spare their own feelings.

ROPE.