"Don't use the word guilty to describe how you feel unless you done something illegal or immoral. You are allowed to have opinions, you are allowed to disappoint people, you are allowed to make other people upset, but guilt is reserved for illegality and immorality."
Yup, a good book is When I Say No I Feel Guilty, which sets about getting a person to frame their interactions according to their own boundaries and sticking to those boundaries. Some of the tactics involve agreeing that another person might be slighted by what the subject says or does, but simply acknowledging it instead of altering their behavior because of it or kowtowing to it.
e.g.
"You know, you're holding up the line making me check for the price of that item"
"Yeah, it looks that way"
"Those other people look pretty mad"
"I suppose they do. How about the price of that item then?"
Yup, a good book is When I Say No I Feel Guilty, which sets about getting a person to frame their interactions according to their own boundaries and sticking to those boundaries. Some of the tactics involve agreeing that another person might be slighted by what the subject says or does, but simply acknowledging it instead of altering their behavior because of it or kowtowing to it.
e.g.
"You know, you're holding up the line making me check for the price of that item"
"Yeah, it looks that way"
"Those other people look pretty mad"
"I suppose they do. How about the price of that item then?"
My level of tolerance for crap like that: "Sucks to be them, not my problem."