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posted ago by AlfredicEnglishRules ago by AlfredicEnglishRules +39 / -8

Found online

Disney Executive: None of these new projects are ready yet, of course, but the franchise will launch with the basic reboot that you're about to see, and then other stories will come online six to twelve months after that. Absolutely spectacular designs. Spared no expense.

Disney Shill: And we can ensure that we send the right message. Inclusive stories, progressive characters, and people will embrace it. And then there's the representation aspect which I personally--

Disney Executive: Donald, Donald. This franchise was not built to cater only to a specific audience. Everyone in the world has the right to enjoy these stories.

Disney Shill: Sure. They will. I mean, we'll have a token white character, or something. True Fan: Gee, the lack of respect for the original material that's being displayed here, uh, staggers me.

Disney Shill: Thank you Dr. Malcolm, but I think things are a little bit different than both you and I have feared.

True Fan: Yeah, I know. They're uh, a lot worse.

Disney Shill: Now, wait a second now. We haven't even seen the new projects yet. There's no reason--

Disney Executive: Donald, Donald, let him talk. There's no reason -- I want to hear every viewpoint. I really do.

True Fan: Yeah, uh, don't you see the danger, John, uh, inherent in what you're doing here? Creative power to re-envision is the most awesome force this industry has ever seen, but you wield it like a kid who's found his dad's credit card.

Disney Shill: It's hardly appropriate to start hurling accusations--

True Fan: If I may, if I may. Uh, I'll tell you the problem with the creative power that you're, that you're using here. It didn't require any discipline to attain it. You know, you read what others had done, and you, and you took the next step. You didn't earn the fanbase or stories for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility... for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses, uh, to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you've patented it, and packaged it, and slapped it on a plastic lunch box, and now (bangs the table) you're re-imagining it, you wanna change it, well.

Disney Executive: I don't think you're giving us our due credit. Our creators have done things which nobody has ever done before. True Fan: Yeah, yeah, but your creators were so preoccupied over whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

Disney Executive: Classic fairytales. Classic fairytales are being forgotten.

True Fan: No, --

Disney Executive: No, no! If I was to bring back classic fairytales, you wouldn't have anything to say.

True Fan: No, no, listen, this isn't some franchise that was struggling because of a bad marketing strategy or, uh, declining interest over centuries. The original Star Wars, uh, was the greatest IP in the world, and fans loved it as it was.

Disney Executive: I simply don't understand this kind of Luddite attitude, especially from a fan! I mean, how can we stand in the light of re-envisionment, and not act?

True Fan: Oh, what's so great about re-envisionment? It's a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call re-envisionment, I call the violation of a timeless story.