Its as if dating women shortens your lifespan
(media.kotakuinaction2.win)
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Gays have a large comorbidity with other mental illnesses, on top of the regular amount women in general already have. And "bisexual woman" is just a slut with extra dressing, so the regular amount of mental illnesses your garden variety slut brings.
All of those would obviously shorten any lifespan.
"I'll take a slut with some No Boundaries sauce, please."
"I'm sorry sir, the "No Boundaries" sauce has Insanity peppers included. The brand without never made it to market. Is that still okay?"