My old man used to tell me "just lean forward, let your body catch you." Probably the only piece of legally useful advice I got out of the guy.
But that's what I get up with. I don't need a reason, I don't need motivation, those are all fleeting. I just lean forward and trust my body to get me through what I need to do, and let the sleep fall off me as it goes.
That's another part I had originally written there but decided against it.
I come from a very low starting point with almost a comical list of obstacles thrown in my way. So that by simply achieving a simple middle class living with my own house and family, I've come further than most people ever will relatively even if their end points are wildly higher up the chain than me. I had a lot of potential in my youth, as the laundry list of paperwork calling me a genius in elementary school can attest, but life's burdens and traumas tore that down to a much lower level and I'm not much above most now on the far end of that.
I shouldn't have succeeded, and considering my politics and personal beliefs most people desperately don't want me to have, but I did anyway and I take a modicum of petty joy in knowing that in my moments of weakness each step I take is in spite of them.
Because, as I think I alluded to in your last anger post, I keep my rage and hate around just for those moments of needing more to keep standing and moving, rather than attempting to disperse it.
My old man used to tell me "just lean forward, let your body catch you." Probably the only piece of legally useful advice I got out of the guy.
But that's what I get up with. I don't need a reason, I don't need motivation, those are all fleeting. I just lean forward and trust my body to get me through what I need to do, and let the sleep fall off me as it goes.
That's another part I had originally written there but decided against it.
I come from a very low starting point with almost a comical list of obstacles thrown in my way. So that by simply achieving a simple middle class living with my own house and family, I've come further than most people ever will relatively even if their end points are wildly higher up the chain than me. I had a lot of potential in my youth, as the laundry list of paperwork calling me a genius in elementary school can attest, but life's burdens and traumas tore that down to a much lower level and I'm not much above most now on the far end of that.
I shouldn't have succeeded, and considering my politics and personal beliefs most people desperately don't want me to have, but I did anyway and I take a modicum of petty joy in knowing that in my moments of weakness each step I take is in spite of them.
Because, as I think I alluded to in your last anger post, I keep my rage and hate around just for those moments of needing more to keep standing and moving, rather than attempting to disperse it.