There is a process whose official name I've forgotten, but I call spiraling and hard stopping.
So when you feel yourself spiraling into rage and anger, you need to throw a curveball at it. Something that makes your thoughts pause for a moment because it needs to regroup. Often that momentary freeze is enough to break the cycle of "angry thought leads to more angry realizations leads to all the little anger jumping up leading to more angry thoughts" that causes the spiral.
Rage addiction is an issue a lot of people face, but its still an addiction and one you can never truly "cold turkey" out of. So you need to have a healthy alteration between letting steam cool out through minor vents and then also an ability to just ice out a situation you know will blow faster than it can be vented.
One personal example from a while back. I was playing Dead by Daylight (big mistake) and was just getting rolled by SWF groups who were beyond toxic. Like, I've got maybe 10 hours in the game and I'm playing horribly, while they teabag, flashlight and all sorts of other unnecessary drag outs on top of their clear victory. But I feel the rage building (as anyone who played DBD knows), so I say literally aloud "you were never gonna be a high rank player."
This small moment allows me to realize none of these victories mattered, as I was never going to get a high winrate or reach a leaderboard. It was all for giggles, and I should be giggling. Both at my own mistakes, and the level of tryhard on the other end. So my next games go about the same level of competency, but I'm having a good time losing and noting where I obviously fucked up.
I'm the complete opposite of you, in that I was a calmer child who was pretty non-angry and my adulthood has just become a long chain of growing rage barely below the surface. But I also am self aware enough to know when I'm catching myself in a spiral of anger far beyond what is valid for the situation, and have developed that process for it. Same with making sure I have games for days when I know I'm hot that are low stakes (comfy as the kids call em), and games for when I'm quite relaxed and a lot more unflappable.
There is a process whose official name I've forgotten, but I call spiraling and hard stopping.
So when you feel yourself spiraling into rage and anger, you need to throw a curveball at it. Something that makes your thoughts pause for a moment because it needs to regroup. Often that momentary freeze is enough to break the cycle of "angry thought leads to more angry realizations leads to all the little anger jumping up leading to more angry thoughts" that causes the spiral.
Rage addiction is an issue a lot of people face, but its still an addiction and one you can never truly "cold turkey" out of. So you need to have a healthy alteration between letting steam cool out through minor vents and then also an ability to just ice out a situation you know will blow faster than it can be vented.
One personal example from a while back. I was playing Dead by Daylight (big mistake) and was just getting rolled by SWF groups who were beyond toxic. Like, I've got maybe 10 hours in the game and I'm playing horribly, while they teabag, flashlight and all sorts of other unnecessary drag outs on top of their clear victory. But I feel the rage building (as anyone who played DBD knows), so I say literally aloud "you were never gonna be a high rank player."
This small moment allows me to realize none of these victories mattered, as I was never going to get a high winrate or reach a leaderboard. It was all for giggles, and I should be giggling. Both at my own mistakes, and the level of tryhard on the other end. So my next games go about the same level of competency, but I'm having a good time losing and noting where I obviously fucked up.
I'm the complete opposite of you, in that I was a calmer child who was pretty non-angry and my adulthood has just become a long chain of growing rage barely below the surface. But I also am self aware enough to know when I'm catching myself in a spiral of anger far beyond what is valid for the situation, and have developed that process for it. Same with making sure I have games for days when I know I'm hot that are low stakes (comfy as the kids call em), and games for when I'm quite relaxed and a lot more unflappable.