Rachel, consultant plastic surgeon “I was raped by a senior trainee in the ’90s. He groomed me with stories over weeks of helping me with my CV and getting a training number but that we would need to sit together to do that. He was confident, good-looking and popular, and bragged about his position, contacts and wealth. He was in every way a clone of what a successful man is perceived to be, or at least that was what we were raised to imagine and, sadly, are still told.

Oh boy, a pump and dump is going to claim consensual sex is rape because she wasn’t a special princess.

“By doing that, he found a way to invite me to his hospital accommodation flat on site. It was such a small room. I can still see it vividly: the way he hung his clothes in the cupboard, the window, the bed, and no space to really move around. We stood close to each other out of necessity, and I am embarrassed to say how naive I was. He turned to me and started kissing me. Then he pushed me on to the bed, turned me face down and raped me. I felt sick. I can still remember how he smelled. I dreaded seeing him in conferences. “I blamed myself for years, and asked myself how I could have been so stupid. Afterwards, he gaslighted me with comments like: ‘God, you make it sound like I raped you but you came up freely’. He made me feel so small, so stupid, that I felt I had to somehow pretend nothing had ever happened.

“I wasn’t given a ring or commitment so I regretted it” notice how she didn’t even say she said no, or stop, or I do not consent, you know, the bare minimum of deterrence.