His original statement, that I have a problem with was:
I had no idea how many people - consciously or otherwise - view language entirely as transactional.
At the same time he implies that this is somehow wrong.
If we continue the gun metaphor, it is equivalent to saying:
I had no idea how many people - consciously or otherwise view guns entirely as tools to kill people.
Not good people or bad people, just people. Now in the case of guns there are other uses, namely hunting and pest control. In the case of communication, I cannot come up with any purpose other than changing something or someone.
We were criticizing how people use it. And you were claiming that all uses were equivalent.
I am claiming that everyone uses it transactionally. For good or bad every time someone says something they expect someone else to change something.
Maybe some examples will make this clearer.
When someone standing in the elevator with someone else says "How about that storm last week?" or "How about them Red Sox?", they are attempting to change how the other person views them, by reducing awkwardness and building rapport. When someone asks someone to turn down the AC they expect the other to do so. When someone tells someone else how to change a sparkplug they expect the other person to subsequently know how to change a spark plug. When someone tells a story they expect the others to enjoy it, or learn from it, or contemplate it. This entire conversation is me trying to change your thoughts, and you trying to change my thoughts.
In every instance the speaker expects someone else to change, either their thoughts, or something around them.
His original statement, that I have a problem with was:
At the same time he implies that this is somehow wrong.
If we continue the gun metaphor, it is equivalent to saying:
Not good people or bad people, just people. Now in the case of guns there are other uses, namely hunting and pest control. In the case of communication, I cannot come up with any purpose other than changing something or someone.
I am claiming that everyone uses it transactionally. For good or bad every time someone says something they expect someone else to change something.
Maybe some examples will make this clearer.
When someone standing in the elevator with someone else says "How about that storm last week?" or "How about them Red Sox?", they are attempting to change how the other person views them, by reducing awkwardness and building rapport. When someone asks someone to turn down the AC they expect the other to do so. When someone tells someone else how to change a sparkplug they expect the other person to subsequently know how to change a spark plug. When someone tells a story they expect the others to enjoy it, or learn from it, or contemplate it. This entire conversation is me trying to change your thoughts, and you trying to change my thoughts.
In every instance the speaker expects someone else to change, either their thoughts, or something around them.