I think there is some choices in here. I grew up in some really mean streets, but come off as a academic middle class. I had to teach myself how to talk to others because my mother is that quiet. Because I talked to people, my parents thought I had ADHD. I chose to talk to people, and to be smart.

My wife basically chose to go with whatever they gave her. People are shocked to find out we grew up in similar areas and both have high IQs. She's an emotional mess because her family loves stress drama. She has to choose to understand, and is scared to do that from time to time, but is very smart when she does.

We foster, and can see that choice a lot. I've had really smart kids with shocking athletic abilities that schools treat like they are slightly smarter than warm milk with bread. Some of it is manipulation to get what they want. Showing them the better choice is the nurture we give.

But a better analogy is a friend moved from east Germany to west Germany. He had difficulty learning English. When he found out a job he really wanted required English, he became a lot better at it.

We choose what nature or nurture we keep as part of our personalities. Being shown the choice is the hard part.