This is worse in some industries (academia. Academia is fucked), and I hear it is even worse in the US, but my god is this ever frustrating…
It really shows you how low people think of you, when you’ve worked with them for some time/think they know you moderately well, and then you ask them for a reference, and they either flat out ignore you, or claim not to even know you “well enough”… 😔
Teachers (well, lecturers, tutors, et al) are particularly bad for this - “Oh, I worked with you on and off for a year. Soz lol, still don’t know you from a bar of soap.”
Look, I get it - it takes a degree of effort, and no one wants to be held accountable for “vouching” for someone else anymore, but fuck, everything requires them - Grad School, jobs, internships, everything.
If no one is willing to (legitimately) provide something so basic, how the fuck is anyone expected to even take that next career step??
This seems much, much worse than when I was last in this position (asking for academic references), 8 years ago, too…
Didn’t think we had slid that much, as a society, in that time, but… Yeah. 😔
Stupidly hard to work around, FML.
The people I’ve asked have responded in a number of pretty unpleasant ways…
Except one, who is much older, and was both fine with it, and perfectly willing to help.
But yeah, the Millennials and Gen X folk I asked? Ouch.
Especially the “I have a family now. I don’t have time for this” one.
Not sure what that says about me, that these are the people I’m having to ask, lol…
I hate everything about this. 😔
Those responses come across as a classic case of "Fuck you, got mine", they're out for themselves but at least they were honest enough to tell you that to your face. It is going to be amazing to see all those types of people go completely unhinged once the economy starts collapsing and it will.
I wish it was to my face…
But nah, e-mail/text…
Much worse, ha.
Just made me sad, really… 😑
I need this, though, so I’ll have to keep asking around.
I looked over again what I was asking, thinking “Surely they could do this if they wanted to?”, and yes, yes they could.
So yeah, you’re probably right. They just don’t fucking care.
Even with the courses where I was an “A Student” and got to know the supe well - they couldn’t be fucked, lol.
I hate this shit. All of it. 😒