Just wear a strap on, and/or strap a pocket pussy to your leg. These are literally better solutions than what the hell you're doing.
Think about it. If you buy a harness for a dildo (yes you can buy flaccid ones), you just chose what dick type you want. Unlike Obamacare, if you like your forearm, you can keep your forearm. Hell, with all the different varieties of dicks you can choose, you can hot-swap that sumbitch mid-coitous if your partner wants something else!
The vagina thing is a little bit harder, but why not get a harness for that. It'll be a lot more like thigh-sex... but at least your not wearing dead people! If you're not sure how to attach it, I'm sure that someone in the BDSM community is well-versed enough with 550 chord and knots to show you how to rig something up. Hell, you're already a degenerate, just go with anal, it literally can't be worse than what you are doing.
Straight up:
Just wear a strap on, and/or strap a pocket pussy to your leg. These are literally better solutions than what the hell you're doing.
Think about it. If you buy a harness for a dildo (yes you can buy flaccid ones), you just chose what dick type you want. Unlike Obamacare, if you like your forearm, you can keep your forearm. Hell, with all the different varieties of dicks you can choose, you can hot-swap that sumbitch mid-coitous if your partner wants something else!
The vagina thing is a little bit harder, but why not get a harness for that. It'll be a lot more like thigh-sex... but at least your not wearing dead people! If you're not sure how to attach it, I'm sure that someone in the BDSM community is well-versed enough with 550 chord and knots to show you how to rig something up. Hell, you're already a degenerate, just go with anal, it literally can't be worse than what you are doing.