I own a bear spray for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the crap?" As I grab my camelback and REI bear repellent. Blow a foggy mess at the first man, we're all blind on the spot. Draw a rock on the second man, miss him entirely because I'm an armlet and it nails the my wife's boyfriend's dog. I have to resort to the legos strewn on top of the stairs, "Tally ho lads" the legos shred my feet as the intruder are unaffected with their shoes, my soi screams set off car alarms. Draw my princess katana and charge terrified cultured citizens. They stab me several times as I bleed out waiting on the police to arrive since knife wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.