I don't blame parents for giving in, they've invested so much into their kids and by that point can't have more. That's part of why this treatment of them is so reprehensible.

But generally yes, people need to grow some balls and tell these lunatics to fuck off when they make their controlling, abusive ultimatums. Society at large has been thoroughly conditioned to instinctively react to appeals to emotion, and to recoil from any accusations of bigotry, but I think and I hope that the veil is starting to lift.