We raised both our sons as gender neutral as possible, with gender neutral clothes, toys, and language. While we did use he/him pronouns and others in their life called them boys, we did not call them boys, or even tell them that they were boys. We made all language gender neutral. In everyday reading of books or descriptions of people in our lives, we did not say "man" or "woman," we said "people." We thought we were doing the right and best thing, both for them and for the world. (...)
At around four years old, my son began to ask me if he was a boy or a girl. Instead of telling him he was a boy, I told him he could choose. I didn't use those words—I thought I could be more sophisticated than that. I told him, "When babies are born with a penis, they are called boys, and when babies are born with a vagina, they are called girls. But some babies who are born with a penis can be girls, and some babies born with a vagina can be boys. It all depends on what you feel deep inside." He continued to ask me what he was, and I continued to repeat these lines. I resolved my inner conflict by "leading" my son with this framework—you can be born with a penis, but still be a girl inside. I thought I was doing the right thing, for him, and for the world.
His question, and my response to it, would come back to haunt me for years, and continues to haunt me now. What I know now is that I was "leading"—I was leading my innocent, sensitive child down a path of lies that were a direct on-ramp to psychological damage and life-long irreversible medical intervention. All in the name of love, acceptance, and liberation.
Anyone who is suicidal should be instantly cured by just being informed that at the very least, he is not a slavish folllower of The Current Thing.
Watching my old employer drop mandates and beg us all to come back - that’s something, at least.
Wait, what? Mandates in Australia? Don't you guys have employee protection/privacy laws preventing that sort of thing?
But… It’s just not as simple as that. I wish it was.
I understand. But look man, your mind loves to play tricks on you. People have lived in misery that was unimaginable for you and me, and yet they persevered - even when there was no prospect of things getting better because they were medieval peasants. Modernity makes people sick.
Just gotta keep going and hope it eventually gets a tiny bit better, I suppose.
The best thing about a terrible situation is that it can only get better. I say go to the gym daily until it does.
As I wrote these replies out, my Uni just contacted me to say that I have been approved for re-enrolment...
This is a massive, life-changing thing, for me. It's hope, and it's an opportunity to start over. I needed that. I absolutely needed this more than almost anything, right now.
So... It's not "over". I just have to turn things around. This gives me the chance to do that.
I haven't been able to sleep for months, worrying over whether they would approve this, so thank the fucking fuck, this is pretty immense.
I guess this shouldn't be such an "identity defining" thing, but man, just the sweet relief of being given a lifeline here is something that is hard to explain, I think.
Now I have to make the most of this chance, of course.
As I wrote these replies out, my Uni just contacted me to say that I have been approved for re-enrolment...
Up we go! Good luck rubs off on you when I talks with you.
I haven't been able to sleep for months, worrying over whether they would approve this, so thank the fucking fuck, this is pretty immense.
God, that sounds awful. Maybe get your hands on some Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius. You worry too much about things you can't do anything about. We all do, but it may be a bit worse for you than for the rest of us.
It's also strange to me that they can apparently reject people based on arbitrary criteria. I always knew if I would be approved for re-enrollment or not.
Now I have to make the most of this chance, of course.
Do your best. But even if you had not been approved, there's a thousand ways to live well without a college degree.
Her article about this affair.
Anyone who is suicidal should be instantly cured by just being informed that at the very least, he is not a slavish folllower of The Current Thing.
I really wish your last sentence were true…
Does feel somewhat “nice” to be vindicated about some of this stuff, though, I guess…
Watching my old employer drop mandates and beg us all to come back - that’s something, at least.
But… It’s just not as simple as that. I wish it was.
Just gotta keep going and hope it eventually gets a tiny bit better, I suppose.
Wait, what? Mandates in Australia? Don't you guys have employee protection/privacy laws preventing that sort of thing?
I understand. But look man, your mind loves to play tricks on you. People have lived in misery that was unimaginable for you and me, and yet they persevered - even when there was no prospect of things getting better because they were medieval peasants. Modernity makes people sick.
The best thing about a terrible situation is that it can only get better. I say go to the gym daily until it does.
As I wrote these replies out, my Uni just contacted me to say that I have been approved for re-enrolment...
This is a massive, life-changing thing, for me. It's hope, and it's an opportunity to start over. I needed that. I absolutely needed this more than almost anything, right now.
So... It's not "over". I just have to turn things around. This gives me the chance to do that.
I haven't been able to sleep for months, worrying over whether they would approve this, so thank the fucking fuck, this is pretty immense.
I guess this shouldn't be such an "identity defining" thing, but man, just the sweet relief of being given a lifeline here is something that is hard to explain, I think.
Now I have to make the most of this chance, of course.
Up we go! Good luck rubs off on you when I talks with you.
God, that sounds awful. Maybe get your hands on some Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius. You worry too much about things you can't do anything about. We all do, but it may be a bit worse for you than for the rest of us.
It's also strange to me that they can apparently reject people based on arbitrary criteria. I always knew if I would be approved for re-enrollment or not.
Do your best. But even if you had not been approved, there's a thousand ways to live well without a college degree.