This gender-neutral parenting completely misunderstands how children work. Small children are generally ignorant. They haven't had the time or life experiences to fill in the many gaps in their knowledge. That is why they look to the adults in their lives, particularly their parents, for their answers to their many questions about the world around them. Everyone has known a small child who is going through their "why"phase. It does a child no good for his parents to collectively shrug their shoulders when he asks, "am I a boy or a girl?"

The parents who aren't openly trying to abuse their children, but still leave it up to their child to "decide" their gender have a quasi-religious view on the "self." They believe that everyone has a mystical, all-knowing self that knows the answers to all of life's questions. That is how someone can know that they were born in the wrong body, despite never having the experience of being the opposite sex. It's closely related to the modernist idea that you must "find yourself," and that if you do not do so, you are doomed to life of misery. The truth is, human beings are incredibly adaptable. We can find contentment in a myriad of different situations.