Here’s to a better year.
Surely they can’t push Covid for much longer, right??
Anyway, I’ve been struggling a lot this week, tbh.
New Year’s Eve was ok, even if not how I planned it (I almost had a better night, but… Effed it up, lol). Unfortunately the days before and since… Haven’t really been. But New Year’s Day is generally shit, I guess, so I’m used to that.
Anyhoo, hope yours was good, and that this year brings you some good things.
I’m just taking it day by day, myself. If I even make it to 2024, that would be a bit of a “miracle”, at this point. So I guess there’s that.
Peace.
Wiew, this hit home more than you may have realized…
Whenever and however I manage to get to the point of seeing a psych, I clearly need to discuss this possibility…
There is definitely something wrong with my brain. I guess I have only just begun to admit to myself quite how severe it may be…
To give an example of the “oddness”: the reason, largely, for failing Uni, is that I can’t seem to get through writing a paper…
Either I will put it off, or I won’t prioritize it, or I’ll find some excuse not to do it. Or, on occasion, I’ll obsess over the “perfectionism” of it, and won’t be satisfied enough to hand it in…
I failed the same subject twice, that way.
In fact, it’s so bad that the only time I can clearly recall doing all the tasks for a subject, at least in recent years, was when we did the whole project during class time, and like, could get it all done, “then and there”, even if it meant staying all day…
Really fucking weird. And yet, I do so well in exams that I generally scrape through with good enough marks to make up for the big fat “zero” on the assignment component, at least most of the time (where possible)…
Crazy. I know this is crazy, but that’s the reality. So… Yeah.
Whatever undiagnosed “condition” I have, it is pretty effed.
I match a lot of those criteria you mentioned, but yeah, clearly I don’t have a diagnosis yet.
The whole “I can’t function so I’m just not even going to try” thing seems to have gotten worse over the years, so whatever it is I’m doing, it ain’t working…
Remember I have MS, now, too, which, while probably not as severe as I might have initially feared (yet), may of course be a compounding factor (apparently it affects brain function, which is just what I need, lol)…
Anyway, cheers mate. Best of luck with the struggle. :)
At least I can say that I’m trying, I guess, ha.