Sex can be empowering when you’re coming from a position of healthy self-esteem.

According to whom? According to the people who lied to you your entire life? The Culture? This premise is false from the start. You state yourself you wasted your entire life having "empowering" sex and it was a mistake. Maybe empowerment isn't a net good?

he should respect you regardless

Why? Especially when it seems it's not reciprocated. Again this premise is flawed because you don't encourage young women to respect men, you just want men to respect women for existing.