"This affront has taken me aback. A Muslim cannot be a superhero, for Pete's sake! They're on the no-fly list," Colbert imperiously huffs. ". . . It's even more upsetting when you consider the original Ms. Marvel. She was wholesome and all-American! Blonde! Family values! With two bulging chest muscles and clearly wearing her Sunday church panties! This is nothing more than Sharia creep, plain and simple."

Since this rant was brought to us by "The Colbert Report," Colbert's hallowed satire of right-wing talk shows in which he parodied Bill O'Reilly and other Fox News windbags, the audience understood it to be a bit.

The day Colbert kicks the bucket, I'm going to throw a party so wild the Olympians will come back for one last ride.