This is, obviously, exceedingly personal. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. And I apologize for it not being… “Newsworthy”.
I’m mainly just angry. And I think this shows, very clearly and close to home, just how shitty all of this has been.
Initially, I couldn’t visit because I was, and am, “inadequately vaxxed”. Then they made it boosters. Then the rules seemingly changed, but my family, my goddamn family, man, prevented me from going in there to see him, except for his birthday last year. Without outwardly saying it, they did it to punish me for my… “Non-compliance”. 😔
Then we all got Covid. But I couldn’t get an “exemption”, because life is shit.
And then, guess what? The whole ward of the nursing home got it anyway, despite none of us (me, or my father, who is “quadruple vaxxed”, or other non-blood relatives) visiting, and despite them being thrice or more “jabbed”…
So, being frail and sickly, the inevitable happened. Though it is important to note that he did not die of Covid, and was allegedly testing negative (having already had it), up to the last few days…
The nursing home wouldn’t let me see him because of the outbreak. My family (mother is his main “guardian”) also didn’t want me visiting (again), and because we don’t even share the same last name (obviously, maternal grandfather), and I can’t afford a lawyer, I hadn’t been able to secure a workaround…
It’s fucking awful. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I haven’t seen him in like, nine months or more. And my family blame me for that. Me.
The worst thing, though, was my Dad’s response: I asked him whether he had been in since I had, seeing as he is “quadruple vaxxed”, and super paranoid about Coof…
To which he said “No, and why would I? I saw him before that.”
As in, no, he didn’t want to, and even though he could, he couldn’t be bothered. This is the same man who attacked me for not visiting enough, for being unvaxxed, for not “supporting your mother enough, at this time”, and for not visiting his mother, who still lives at home, enough…
I just… Fuck these people, man. Fuck my entire family, at this point…
Tl;dr, my grandfather died, and the (supposedly coof-related) evils of the system, and of my family, prevented me from saying goodbye. For months… 😞
I’m so angry about this that it, unsurprisingly, changes my… “Attitude” towards my family.
No more Mr “Nice Guy”. It’s time to get real. They’re sick, and twisted, and they’re clearly never going to change. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can forgive this one. Not for a long time, anyway…
Frankly, I’m just… Done.
Fuck them. Fuck them all. 😕
And fuck the society that thinks this sort of shit is “acceptable”.
I’m going to add a bit: this is not the first time.
A few years ago, before Covid, a family friend’s mother died. I was interstate. Rather than telling me, they waited until I arrived back, weeks after the funeral, to tell me that she died, and I missed it. But worse than that - they sent flowers on my behalf, without even telling me. The family friend (my age) was so upset when she learned I had no part in that, that she actively refuses to talk to me, now…
At the same time, my cat, my cat (not theirs) died, while I was away, after years of neglect and abuse by them, and when I came back and asked where he was, they just laughed. And abused me when I got, understandably, upset and angry about the whole thing. That was the same day I learned about the death of the family friend. They didn’t even bury him. They just… Chucked the body (as far as I’m aware). As you do…
And then they euthanized my dog, later that same year, without telling me, or allowing me to say goodbye. They denied it for years, though it was patently obvious. I only found out from the horse’s mouth, when they were, bizarrely, telling the then-owner of the dog they then decided to “adopt”… Who should, frankly, have run a mile, but didn’t…
That happened again (the family friend thing), during Covid, except that I was in the state, and even in the same city, but they didn’t think I was “close enough”, to my childhood best friend, anymore, to warrant being filled in…
Yeah, they’re monstrous. Let’s be clear about that…
I’m not exaggerating, and this isn’t new. 🤦🏻♂️
You wonder why I’m so fucking angry, so often?? Try growing up with that sort of parents, and extended family…