No that's not the norm, except in times of war, famine, or high anxiety.

Empathy doens't mean 'bleeding heart feeling sorry for'. It just means the ability to imagine the other's emotional state. Could be someone who is in a tough spot, or could be someone who is happy, if you don't have empathy you can't relate to them at all.

Like how leftists can't relate to you at all. They will hate you regardless because you're a wrongthinker. They tell on their own parents for wrongthink. They have no loyalty or ability to relate to the out-group. Meanwhile if you're a lefty and find yourself in a conservative town people will treat you with respect, becasue they're not monsters.

Notice also that I wrote that empathy is stronger the closer you get to the center. Of course we feel intensely about our family, but a regular person would have to get pretty far out from the center to no longer be able to relate. Somehting like people living in a tribe in the amazon, you might start having trouble understanding what they're feeling, but even there you'll probably manage to relate enough to have some sort of distant connection if you try hard enough.

If you truly don't have empathy for the out-group, then you can't even travel as a turist to Italy, or have a conversation with anyone except people from your tribe, and if that's the case then you're worth much less to the in-group than someone who isn't a complete autist. Of course we eveolved to be able to empatize with all humans.

Empathy however isn't the same as sacrifice, or cuddling, or caretaking.

If you drift ashore somewhere, the people will feed you and dry you and send you on your way.

Unless you're a conservative and they're leftist radicals, then they will kick you back into the ocean because something is broken in their brains. That's evil.

Not having empathy is a mental disorder. If you meet an arab face to face and you don't feel empathy, something is broken in you. That doesn't mean however that you have to invite him into your house. You can feel empathy and at the same time say well, it was nice to meet you, see you later.