I think it's a good thing that the last SW I had watched was Episode III; this was my first teaser of the Disney era, and what can I say: I will not watch this one, just as I did not watched the others.
(For me, the Star Wars franchise is Star Wars from 1977, and I don't care about the other films or television series.)
Ahahaha. A+ post.
I'm calling it: she dies saving luke skywalker, and sad obi watches while jacking off after he gains 100 pounds eating blue space cheetos and jacking off to anime porn from some queer reddit sub. Obi gets 15 minutes screentime in his entire series, 10 minutes of it was the scene I just described. Then they hire rian johnson to create a 3 part biopic on the strang womayn sith who's also related to rey and tico, somehow. Through magical vaginal force powers. End Scene.