In the last few days, I’ve become really, really Ill with something. Some of you will know of my mental struggles, and that I wasn’t exactly in “peak physical condition” even before this, but this is the sickest I’ve probably ever been,..
Certainly it’s the most medical treatment I’ve had in years, and, by the end, it’ll be just about the second-most time I’ve spent in and out of hospital… It’s fucking terrible. And if certain doctors are right, my quality of life may have just changed, permanently, just like that. Completely randomly…
To put it into perspective, I can barely read this, now, as I write it. I can barely read your posts. I can’t spell, now, and my cognitive… Abilities, are way off. But it’s the sight that most concerns me, and knowing that, if what I have been told is right, my whole life may have just changed…
Consequently, I just don’t… Care. I don’t care about Baldwin. I care about the woman who was called, and the director, but I don’t… Care about pinning down fault. I don’t care that my country has just sacked a cartoonist for criticisong the government. I don’t care that everything is going to shit, in the western world. I’m dying. I just… I don’t have time, or energy, to fight those battles anymore.
So… I’m right here with you, and I support your battles, guys. I support fighting back. But right now, I can barely write a grammatically-correct paragraph, or even just… Function. I can’t work. I can’t drive.
So you have to fight this for me, now. Keep up the fight.
And if this DOES progress, and I, I dunno, decide “Fuck it, I may as well become a Paralympian now”, and I make it to Paris or something, I’ll keep you posted, lol.
Fuck, it physically hurt to type that out on my phone. That’s how sick I am. 😔
RipMe.
I am truly sorry to hear about what you are going through.
I really hope things improve for you and that you are able to get better.
Although I don't know you personally, I will pray for you.
Your last post about your mental struggles really resonated with me. I have seen people really close to me go through similar things.
I know this is going to sound cheesy and kinda cringe but this one quote from the show Avatar the Last Airbender comes to my mind when I start getting way too blackpilled about everything these days.
"You must never give into despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength."
Don't give up. I hope you will be able to find some peace and happiness despite it all.
Thanks friend. Much appreciated. Really.
Yeah, it’s funny. The mental health stuff… Has made ma so “numb” that most of this actual physical shit, the last few days… perhaps hasn’t hit me as hard as it might for Someone who hasn’t experienced all that, already…
Although being told I might never see properly again, or that I might not be able to finish my degree, now, or that… I might have a degenerative condition which…Is going to gradually reduce my QOL, that’s… Hit me pretty hard, I admit. 😦
Side note: I genuinely can’t see what I’m writing, now, so I won’t be able to comment, more, tonight. Im sorry to you, the other kind poster, and anyone else who sees this, but my eyesight/neuro-whatever is genuinely that bad, rn… 😐
It’s a fucking disaster.
Also because every time I try to te someone quite how bad it is (doctors, nurses, my family), they brush it off, or tell me I’ll just have to get used to it…
I don’t think anyone quite understand what it’s feels like to suddenly go 40% or more blind. 😔 Ha, I can’t even see these emojis properly, dude. Far out…