I see signs everywhere, stickers, t-shirts, YouTubers saying at the end of their videos "be kind" "kindness is everything". Kindness is overrated. What they mean when they say this is don't be confrontational, don't be assertive, succumb. It encourages weakness. Strength should be the priority.
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The real issue is, as you say, their definition of kindness is subjugation.
The cattle are kind to the farmer when they go to pasture when intended, return when intended, don't ruin the fences or stampede, don't harm the farmer, and die nice and neatly for meat when told to. That is a nice and kind cattle.
Kindness is telling someone they fucked up, in as unambiguous and clear language as possible, then informing them of how it happened to prevent repeats, irreverent to that someone's feelings. Kindness is acting in such a way as to promote societal cohesion long-term, even if short-term is causes problems.
Kindness is not giving a man a fish. Neither is kindness teaching a man to fish. Kindness is letting a man learn to fish from you, which is very different. Imposing your own mind upon his is not kindness, it is paternalism at best, rulership at par. You rob the man of his choice, and he will forever be dependent upon the handouts of yourself whether you give him a food source or a source of food, for both run dry in time.