Yes, Hi. I'm calling from Mastercard. Our partners at Google, Facebook, the ADL and SPLC have informed us that you have a quite a history of posting content that is completely counter to our mission statement here at Mastercard. We've gone through and looked at some of the examples of your online conduct they've sent us. They've tracked your devices as the sources of these posts and unfortunately, as part of our pledge to Diversity, Inclusion and Equity, I'm afraid we are contractually obligated to suspend your account immediately.
In a case as severe as yours there are unfortunately no appeals and we cannot reinstate your account for a minimum of 6 years, because that's how long the data proving your actions will be stored for.
Now, I understand this may be a shock to you - it's a shock to many, of course. How are you going to get by if you can't accept or send any money anywhere. Well, through our partnerships with investment partners, we have no-questions-asked housing and employment for people in your situation. Yes, you will be able to feed your family. The job? Yeah, it's in a Steatite mine in Montana. You'll love it there, lots of white guys just like you. Steatite? It's a kind of Talc. Contains Asbestos."
The amish grocery store down the street doesn't have a card reader.
I have no account on facebook. Or twitter. Or tumblr. OR FUCKING REDDIT (anymore... ALL YOU HYPOCRITICAL TRAITORS). I have no smartphone; I have a flip phone with nothing on it.
I use burner email accounts for everything but logins for bill paying (utilities, etc).
"Hello, Mr. Piroko?
Yes, Hi. I'm calling from Mastercard. Our partners at Google, Facebook, the ADL and SPLC have informed us that you have a quite a history of posting content that is completely counter to our mission statement here at Mastercard. We've gone through and looked at some of the examples of your online conduct they've sent us. They've tracked your devices as the sources of these posts and unfortunately, as part of our pledge to Diversity, Inclusion and Equity, I'm afraid we are contractually obligated to suspend your account immediately.
In a case as severe as yours there are unfortunately no appeals and we cannot reinstate your account for a minimum of 6 years, because that's how long the data proving your actions will be stored for.
Now, I understand this may be a shock to you - it's a shock to many, of course. How are you going to get by if you can't accept or send any money anywhere. Well, through our partnerships with investment partners, we have no-questions-asked housing and employment for people in your situation. Yes, you will be able to feed your family. The job? Yeah, it's in a Steatite mine in Montana. You'll love it there, lots of white guys just like you. Steatite? It's a kind of Talc. Contains Asbestos."
The amish grocery store down the street doesn't have a card reader.
I have no account on facebook. Or twitter. Or tumblr. OR FUCKING REDDIT (anymore... ALL YOU HYPOCRITICAL TRAITORS). I have no smartphone; I have a flip phone with nothing on it.
I use burner email accounts for everything but logins for bill paying (utilities, etc).
I have been doing this since the 90's.