I woke up this morning and started thinking about the Titanic, and how the US is like a sinking ship, and how politics can be explained quite easily in this metaphor.
First, with Republicans in charge, seats on the lifeboats would be sold to the highest bidder.
If Libertarians were in charge, they would insist on filling the boats with women and children, and would hold the boats in until no men were on the lifeboat, and all the people on board therefore would perish as no compromise could ever be made.
Meanwhile the Democrats in charge do actually fill the boat with women and children, but 95% of the women are actually men in drag and each and every child on the boat gets molested and has psychological problems the rest of their lives.
More like republicans would argue on irrelevancies like how long ago the last safety inspection of the lifeboats were, and if it's recent enough to trust. Libertarians would just lay there on deck smoking weed, and democrats would burn the lifeboats because boats are racist because they transported black people at some point, and blame the republicans for doing it.