I woke up this morning and started thinking about the Titanic, and how the US is like a sinking ship, and how politics can be explained quite easily in this metaphor.
First, with Republicans in charge, seats on the lifeboats would be sold to the highest bidder.
If Libertarians were in charge, they would insist on filling the boats with women and children, and would hold the boats in until no men were on the lifeboat, and all the people on board therefore would perish as no compromise could ever be made.
Meanwhile the Democrats in charge do actually fill the boat with women and children, but 95% of the women are actually men in drag and each and every child on the boat gets molested and has psychological problems the rest of their lives.
I think the Democrats would be more like:
The lifeboats are reserved for minorities, of which there are about 5 on board. The elites also get on the lifeboats but everyone pretends to not notice. When the boat is salvaged, film is found of the remaining passengers doing dance routines in front on unused lifeboats along with notes about how great of a person they are for having empathy for the minorities and letting them use the boats. The news at home reports that the Republicans are at fault for putting too few lifeboats and any question showing the film of empty lifeboats is dismissed as Ottoman disinformation.