Yeah I would tend to agree with what I think you're saying regarding "being involved in anime culture." I'm not sure I'd go as far as public shaming, that would depend on the level of involvement. I'm late 30s, and when it comes to lighthearted entertainment, I do find I lean towards things below my age group both in games and video. Not really books, I tend to read a lot more historical things and non-fiction. Kids books would bore me to death. I have no shame in that I like that stuff. I mean I could go fill my head with sex-centric identity politics on Netflix instead, and well I'd rather not.

I do think the difference you may be getting to is where these things the fabric of that adult's being and well I agree with you there. If you were to ask me to define myself, anime is so far down the list I'd wear you out with things before that. I'd probably have gamer on the list much higher, but even then I'd try to drown that out with hiking, biking, cars, planes, photography, programming, travel, history, some sports, etc. because while I do like games and spend a lot of time on them, I'm not into what most people perceive as gamer culture.