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I had a similar experience. Like yourself, in ways I feel like I realized it all too late. I had a father who was a good man, but a weak man. He instilled none of the most basic values in me that all men need to be whole. He was a people pleaser, a conformist, someone who never went against the grain and always did what he was told. As we all know now these are the type of men who led us down this destructive path, that allowed power to all the people who should never of had any.
I never really actualized my weakness until my early to mid 20's, ever since then I've fought so hard to better myself and become a man. I've done very well in years since then; I'm in amazing shape, very confident, and mental and physically I've never felt better. Yet at the same time, I still live with some bitterness, because if I was never weak in the first place, I'd like to think I'd be incredibly strong now, far more so than I am. At the end of the day though, all that is important is that you're trying and fighting to be more of a man. It's all that you can do.