Your political opinions are disjointed; the positions you hold in no way line up with the labels you apply to yourself. When you talk about politics, it sounds like someone live-tweeting the writer's room at Last Week Tonight on a particularly unproductive day.
Your every thought was spoon-fed to you by a group of propagandists who want you dead. Every conversation we have feels to me like digging through a pile of excrement looking to find out what a sick animal had for its last meal. That's how distasteful it is, finding the regurgitated chunks of headline you half-understood, and how easy it is to identify the corny chunks of Sam Bee tweets and blood-red WaPo opinion column titles.
When you asked me to read a technical manual and summarize it for you, I empathized with your learning disorder and helped you out - don't you goddamn dare claim what little you've read of contemporary politics or current events is even on the same plane of validity as my own. When you patronizingly say "No one is entitled to their own facts", I agree, but you mean the ones you were given rather than than the Truth. You imagine yourself a free-thinker, a scientist, and the truth is you question nothing and do not think at all.
I know you're trying to justify your position in the company during layoff season, but I have half a mind to make your job look unnecessary instead of helping you prove how necessary it is, even knowing it will make my own long days even longer.
I doubt I'm the only one who ends a day at work feeling like this. If you read it, thanks for listening to me vent.
I started off by thinking that the old mainframe operator's "fuck off" of "Go away, before I replace you with a small shell script" was applicable here and that it's about time we started making some of these useless bastards that do nothing but move numbers around on an Excel spreadsheet all day obsolete through some programmatic action.
Then I realized that there's a greater-than-zero chance that they've managed to finagle themselves into an un-fire-able position by claiming that they're some sort of protected class. Sure, we could prove to their boss, and their boss's boss, that they're a damn moron that should never have been hired in the first place, but as soon as they try to give them the sack (even if it's for proper reasons that violate company policy), their ass will be putting the company on blast all over Twitter, Glassdoor, LinkedIn, and every other outlet they can that the company is run by every -ist and -phobic under the sun. HR and the company won't want to risk the PR nightmare they know could happen, so they'll shuffle the moron around to different departments until they find a place for them that they'll be least likely to fuck something up.
I'm not saying we shouldn't pull the trigger on proving someone is useless at their job, but one should tread very carefully and make sure the evidence is rock solid against the offender.