I think I'm too materialist to truly believe in God. I was raised Lutheran, but never really felt interested in the church. I tried to make myself enjoy it and believe it, but it didn't work. I stopped attending church and Sunday School in my later teens and never returned. I had my Atheist "phase" where the core of my stance was along the lines of "if God is there, he'll call me back." I don't think I have ever felt that call, but I became so disgusted with the anti-Theism of the people online that I stopped calling myself Atheist. I am a lost sheep with nowhere to call home.
I have extreme difficulty believing in things that I cannot see or touch. I want so desperately to believe in "magic" things like God, or ghosts, or the occult, but because I never see it with my own eyes, or experience it despite my disbelief, I cannot truly believe in it. I refuse to pretend for the sake of appearances, either, because I would know that I was lying to myself 100% of the time. I can lie to myself about doing my laundry or exercise later, but nothing so important as a core belief system.
I have enjoyed a large number of coincidences, synchronicities, and lucky breaks in my life, but they're otherwise so mundane that I think it would be insulting to try to attribute them to God's intervention. I love organ music, and have a fair few "religious" songs and outright hymns on my regular music playlist(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7). I have memorized a couple prayers in Latin because I am an aspiring polyglot and being able to recite Latin prayers is a neat party trick (I do not attend parties, or any other social functions for that matter). The church has left an impact on me that is markedly more positive than negative, but I refuse to go through the motions with no soul behind them.
God likes the material too. He made it and called it good. Keep up with the polyglot hobby. God made all those too, and they are fascinating and fun! What other languages are you working on?
God is speaking to you in many ways... its the hearing that comes harder. 'Those with ears to hear will hear' The mundane occurs as a subset of God's ability to interact with us. 'The heavens declare the glory of God, and the skies proclaim his handiwork' Even the mundane speaks. Can you hear it?
I think I'm too materialist to truly believe in God. I was raised Lutheran, but never really felt interested in the church. I tried to make myself enjoy it and believe it, but it didn't work. I stopped attending church and Sunday School in my later teens and never returned. I had my Atheist "phase" where the core of my stance was along the lines of "if God is there, he'll call me back." I don't think I have ever felt that call, but I became so disgusted with the anti-Theism of the people online that I stopped calling myself Atheist. I am a lost sheep with nowhere to call home.
I have extreme difficulty believing in things that I cannot see or touch. I want so desperately to believe in "magic" things like God, or ghosts, or the occult, but because I never see it with my own eyes, or experience it despite my disbelief, I cannot truly believe in it. I refuse to pretend for the sake of appearances, either, because I would know that I was lying to myself 100% of the time. I can lie to myself about doing my laundry or exercise later, but nothing so important as a core belief system.
I have enjoyed a large number of coincidences, synchronicities, and lucky breaks in my life, but they're otherwise so mundane that I think it would be insulting to try to attribute them to God's intervention. I love organ music, and have a fair few "religious" songs and outright hymns on my regular music playlist(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7). I have memorized a couple prayers in Latin because I am an aspiring polyglot and being able to recite Latin prayers is a neat party trick (I do not attend parties, or any other social functions for that matter). The church has left an impact on me that is markedly more positive than negative, but I refuse to go through the motions with no soul behind them.
God likes the material too. He made it and called it good. Keep up with the polyglot hobby. God made all those too, and they are fascinating and fun! What other languages are you working on?
God is speaking to you in many ways... its the hearing that comes harder. 'Those with ears to hear will hear' The mundane occurs as a subset of God's ability to interact with us. 'The heavens declare the glory of God, and the skies proclaim his handiwork' Even the mundane speaks. Can you hear it?