Weird how giving up guns did fuck all to prevent criminal attacks. Must have been knives that were the real problem. This will surely be fixed in a way that allows pensioners to be arrested over table cutlery.
Breaking news, "assault chopsticks"! As long as there's savages trying to harm one-another or the innocent, it doesn't matter how much they're restricted. Soon it will be "British gardens are filled with 'attack rocks', stones larger than 3 inches across!".
A general ban on sticks longer than 3 inches is in effect. Being in posession of a sharpened stick, known as a "backyard poker," is a jailable offense.
Residents were heard calling for bans on backyard pokers following the successful bans of zombie knives, ninja swords, and Roman salutes.
Weird how giving up guns did fuck all to prevent criminal attacks. Must have been knives that were the real problem. This will surely be fixed in a way that allows pensioners to be arrested over table cutlery.
Breaking news, "assault chopsticks"! As long as there's savages trying to harm one-another or the innocent, it doesn't matter how much they're restricted. Soon it will be "British gardens are filled with 'attack rocks', stones larger than 3 inches across!".
A general ban on sticks longer than 3 inches is in effect. Being in posession of a sharpened stick, known as a "backyard poker," is a jailable offense.
Residents were heard calling for bans on backyard pokers following the successful bans of zombie knives, ninja swords, and Roman salutes.