Didn't really need to read the rest to know what you said. I am not going to give you the psychological breakdown on needs, but I must press that the current state of your vocation is a primary factor in your current anguish.
I do not know the specifics of your work. Perhaps it is non-negotiable. If you need to stay in that line of work, look for a new place to do it, which means new people to work with/under.
If the thought of packing up and moving over this makes your chest begin to tighten, all the better. No one is gonna take care of you better than you will, which makes you responsible for understanding you. Identify what's important. You may need to make a hard decision to lift yourself out of this hole. And if the decision is terribly hard, you should rejoice, because it means seizing the reigns of your life. If you fear failure, consider the alternative of this slow asphyxiation.
You WILL feel better if you take control of your life. It is not supposed to be easy.
All the meme shit isn't gonna help, what good's a lump of silver gonna do if you feel like you can't go on? Were you pursuing things you value or pursuing what others value?
Didn't really need to read the rest to know what you said. I am not going to give you the psychological breakdown on needs, but I must press that the current state of your vocation is a primary factor in your current anguish.
I do not know the specifics of your work. Perhaps it is non-negotiable. If you need to stay in that line of work, look for a new place to do it, which means new people to work with/under.
If the thought of packing up and moving over this makes your chest begin to tighten, all the better. No one is gonna take care of you better than you will, which makes you responsible for understanding you. Identify what's important. You may need to make a hard decision to lift yourself out of this hole. And if the decision is terribly hard, you should rejoice, because it means seizing the reigns of your life. If you fear failure, consider the alternative of this slow asphyxiation.
You WILL feel better if you take control of your life. It is not supposed to be easy.
All the meme shit isn't gonna help, what good's a lump of silver gonna do if you feel like you can't go on? Were you pursuing things you value or pursuing what others value?