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posted ago by Lord_Nekro ago by Lord_Nekro +98 / -1

"They" don't want us "Straight, White Males" to have strong, moral heroes to identify with.

I was born the same year Masters of the Universe (MotU) debuted as a cartoon. Still my earlier memories were watching this and yes my favorite action figures were He-Man and Skeletor and Good vs Evil. Despite having a sword and being the most powerful man in the universe He-Man didnt kill. He used his wits on top of godly strength. At the end of every episode, even in the 2002 version, there was morality lesson based on that episode. For someone who grew up in a broken home without a strong male role model He-Man was it for me.

What they have done to this is plain cultural marxism. Out with the olds. They are being sacrificed at the Altar of Wokeism and rebranded for the New Agenda Driven World Order

Spoilers

Episode 1 starts with Teela being promoted as the new "Man at Arms" 🙄 we see what we think as He-Man leading two prisoners to Greyskull. Turns out to be a ruse and Skeletor, Evil-lyn and Faker ambush Sorceress. How is sorceress this dumb? Shes suppose to be the most magical being in Eternia and she can't see through a cloaking spell? Really? Adam shows up back at the party and is immediately emmasculated by Teela. Teela looks like shes been hitting the protein by the way not the feminine warrior she was in 02 or the original. They are told of the attack and she calls the masters into action. Adam transformers and it was the gayest fucking thing in the world. Sailor Moon- Final Fantasy X2- etc pick your shitty girl power transformation and there you have it. The masters counter attack Greyskull and are losing until He-Man shows up ans kicks ass. Btw as for the masters we see Clamp Champ the black guy and Fisto guess why they were picked and not Buzz-off, Ram-Man, Mechanek or Stratos? So HeMan makes it into the basement of GreySkull fights with Skeletor but skeletor sets off a magical nuke and HeMan sacrifices himself by taking the blast into the sword of power. Here Teela sees Adam was He-Man. Her and Man at Arms break the news to King Randor and Queen Marlena but instead of being a stoic heroine like Teela is suppose to be she throws the ultimate "But Me Me Me" bitch fit and quits while chastizing he king and queen and her dad who was just fired and Banished. Fucking Puke

Episode 2-4

Teela now looking even more buff and with a typical feminazi haircut has teamed up with Diversity hire life partner tech girl and they are mercs. They are sent to Snake Mountain to retrieve a chalice of Skeletors. Skeletors Tech guy Tri-Klops is leading them as Tech is more reliant now that magic is fading in the world. LGBTeela remarks many times how she hates magic yet when they return the chalice its none other than Evil-lyn who set them on the quest. Evil-lyn turns out is working with Sorceress to Return magic to the world. Cringer and Forced Diversity Hire GF talk LGBTeela into going with Evil-lyn even though LGBTeela says she hates magic but yeah lets trust the most evil magic bitch in the world FUCK YOU KEVIN SMITH

So off they go but first they need allies. LGBTeela goes to see Man at Arms who is taking care of a sick and dying Orko. Man at Arms cant go on the quest cause we cant have a strong male older guy schooling these idiot wahmen so he sends Roboto in his place. Orko, like a sick kid at Make a Wish, asks to go one more time. So they all set out on a boat to the underworld to get the firsf half of the Sword of Power. So Girl Power Squad sails off and we get a flashback to He-Man and Teela defeating Skeletor an Merman. He-Man makes a joke like he always does when defeating Skeketor only for Diversity Hire GF to stop the flashback and make fun of He-Man for making a pun yet later she makes a "No Glove, No Love" joke and thats suppose to be ok. Just so we are clear here. Clean family friendly humor NO GOOD but Lezbo making a sex joke WHEEZE HAR HAR HAR look at that empowered wahmen. FFS KILL THIS SHIT NOW. Mer-Man, who must have swallowed some Ricola lozenges cause his voice isnt underwatery or fish like, must have read my mind and attacks and out of nowehere Man at Arms comes in on a fucking seadoo jetski to save the day. So much for strong female wahmen not needing help. Im surprised he didnt jumo a shark on his way in.

They make it to the underworld and man at arms has outlived his usefulness so rides away and leaves them LOL FUCK YOU SMITH. When they enter the underworld they are all split up and must face their fears. Roboto, Beastman and Forced Diversity GF fight zombies, Evil-Lyn and Orko in another area and LGBTeela fights Scare-Glow. During this fight LGBTeela must face her fear which not surprising her fear is "how strong and powerful she really is" GTFO She wins they get the sword and before they can pass through Scare-Glow attacks again. Orko steps up and sacrifices himself so the others can escape. Yes they killed Orko. FUCKING DICKS. Thats like seeing a Make A Wish kid get hit by a bus on his way to DisneyLand

They pass through and are in PreTernia where all other Protectors on Eternia go when they die. They all are in their Powered up form except Adam who they call Flea Man. They make a grave for Orko and LGBTeela still is mad that Adam never told her he was He-Man. Thats right Orko just died, you see Adam again and LGBTeela still wants to be a raging cunt.Can they emmasculate my boy anymore? Of course they can cause theyre faggots. Oh and King GreySkull is Black cause the first protector of Eternia has to be in 2021. FUCK YOU SMITH. Roboto forges the news Sword of Power and dies making it. Adam offers to go back at the cost that if he dies again he can no longer come back to heaven. Remember that

Episode 5

They make it back to Castle Greyskull which btw was an illusin hiding a rainbow colored castle instead cause we gotta hit that Pride Shit Yo. Adam is about the become He-Man again and restore magic to the world when Skeletor emerges from Evil-Lyns staff and stabs him in the back. Yep no redemption for Lyn like we didnt see that coming what gave it away? Maybe Good-lyn doesnt sound right. Adam dies again so theyve killed him twice and Skeletor becomes SkeleGod

And thats it 5 episodes of the gayest shit in the fucking world and the ruination of my childhood hero. FUCK YOU SMITH