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Reason: Added edit

Is this not kind of normal for older societies? Except the education part. You can just write about spartans at this point.

If you plan to write it in modern times I am not even sure if it would flop, but you need find reasons for this choices.

For instance, why is it whites-only? Israel wanted a jewish state because they were persecuted. Having a closed society is one thing but if you want to make it whites-only it would imply that whites from other countries can apply so you need a reason for that and have the writing skills to pull it off. Escaping persecution or preserving society are good reasons that can be expanded upon.

You can also make it extremely racist as a country but then explore the humanity of the individuals, it would make a great thought exercise in to the evil of racism. However this would require some award winning skills to pull off properly.

About having only male soldiers that would not be that far off, the idea of having mixed armies is relatively new. Having a nation where culturally women do not fight in war is what would happen if you allow people freedom of choice. If you want to set it in the future then you could put in some genetical enhancements that are built upon male physical traits and when tried on females it causes abnormal mutations in females.

Declining birth rates as a major crisis can also be explored, but you need another reason then feminism. For instance I liked the Mass Effect Krogan explanation and it could be a good way to tie everything together.

What I can think off as a plot that would somewhat work.

Whites face discrimination and create their own nation. They grow to a reasonable size, preferably off world somewhere. The problem is that this planet is the only one in a reasonable distance to travel to from Earth.

Earth is falling apart, all the identity politics slowed down the scientific advancement so now things like pollution and over-populations, poverty and disease are real problem. 

While initially the nations of Earth were all so happy to get rid of the oppressively whites now they look with envy to what the new nation is building. Earth media starts a smear campaign to blame all their problems on whites while taking 0 responsibility, "whites destroyed this planet and left it to us to fix the unfixable", they conveniently leave out the part were overpopulation and pollution was not created by the formerly white countries.

Inevitably a war is started, a war that has been for decades at the time the book takes place. A war that seems endless. Earth is trying to take over the new planet and whites to survive.

 Get the perspective off a guy from earth and the perspective of a guy from the new planet in order to show both sides. I would also get the  guy from Earth slowly realize that whites are not evil and they were basically forced to run away  while the guy from the new nation would understand that individually we are all the same is the politics keeping us apart but no peace can be obtain in the end because whites are few and hated.  

Maybe find a middle ground ending for the war where the 2 nations remain separated but the war ends with the guy from Earth exposing the manipulation of the globalist society to the world, how it started and what happened.


I'm not a fan of this premise, I'm just trying to find a way to make it work.

2 years ago
1 score
Reason: Original

Is this not kind of normal for older societies? Except the education part. You can just write about spartans at this point.

If you plan to write it in modern times I am not even sure if it would flop, but you need find reasons for this choices.

For instance, why is it whites-only? Israel wanted a jewish state because they were persecuted. Having a closed society is one thing but if you want to make it whites-only it would imply that whites from other countries can apply so you need a reason for that and have the writing skills to pull it off. Escaping persecution or preserving society are good reasons that can be expanded upon.

You can also make it extremely racist as a country but then explore the humanity of the individuals, it would make a great thought exercise in to the evil of racism. However this would require some award winning skills to pull off properly.

About having only male soldiers that would not be that far off, the idea of having mixed armies is relatively new. Having a nation where culturally women do not fight in war is what would happen if you allow people freedom of choice. If you want to set it in the future then you could put in some genetical enhancements that are built upon male physical traits and when tried on females it causes abnormal mutations in females.

Declining birth rates as a major crisis can also be explored, but you need another reason then feminism. For instance I liked the Mass Effect Krogan explanation and it could be a good way to tie everything together.

What I can think off as a plot that would somewhat work.

Whites face discrimination and create their own nation. They grow to a reasonable size, preferably off world somewhere. The problem is that this planet is the only one in a reasonable distance to travel to from Earth.

Earth is falling apart, all the identity politics slowed down the scientific advancement so now things like pollution and over-populations, poverty and disease are real problem. 

While initially the nations of Earth were all so happy to get rid of the oppressively whites now they look with envy to what the new nation is building. Earth media starts a smear campaign to blame all their problems on whites while taking 0 responsibility, "whites destroyed this planet and left it to us to fix the unfixable", they conveniently leave out the part were overpopulation and pollution was not created by the formerly white countries.

Inevitably a war is started, a war that has been for decades at the time the book takes place. A war that seems endless. Earth is trying to take over the new planet and whites to survive.

 Get the perspective off a guy from earth and the perspective of a guy from the new planet in order to show both sides. I would also get the  guy from Earth slowly realize that whites are not evil and they were basically forced to run away  while the guy from the new nation would understand that individually we are all the same is the politics keeping us apart but no peace can be obtain in the end because whites are few and hated.  

Maybe find a middle ground ending for the war where the 2 nations remain separated but the war ends with the guy from Earth exposing the manipulation of the globalist society to the world, how it started and what happened.

2 years ago
1 score