In the end, I think I’m just not really cut out for the “realities” of modern adult life…

Maybe that’s because I was the “forgotten child”, like you were.

Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I’m still just “too immature”. But I have to be honest man, I just can’t do it…

I don’t think I’m intellectually “stupid”.

I probably have ADHD, among other things. Maybe I’m not as “emotionally intelligent” as I could be.

But I just can’t do this…

In another life, I could have been a good soldier, or like, maybe a pilot or a train driver. Something “simple”, and routine, and kind of… Generic.

Not because I necessarily wanted to do that sort of “grunt work”, but because it is increasingly seeming like my brain can’t do the other stuff…

Or like fuck, maybe I could’ve been a tour guide or something. Or a museum curator.

If we still lived in a world where those things paid a livable wage, and didn’t require extensive study anyway, maybe I still would go that way…

But regardless, that’s never been a path I could pursue.

I just… Can’t. So, much though I hate academia, and suck terribly at it, I’m still going and going and going, because I need that fucking piece of paper… 😑

Like I said to my lecturers, though: if it was just Uni - like, you just do the work, and go to class, and everything else worked around that - ok, I could manage. But it’s not like that now. Not here. You have to work part time, and find somewhere to live which you can afford, and hustle for internships, and manage extracurricular stuff, and play the bullshit game with admin (see again: false accusation).

On top of the study, and everything happening in my life, I just…

It’s all just too much.

For me, anyway. Some people seem to manage most of that. But not me…

Oh well.

In the end, I think I’m just not really cut out for the “realities” of modern adult life…

Maybe that’s because I was the “forgotten child”, like you were.

Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I’m still just “too immature”. But I have to be honest man, I just can’t do it…

I don’t think I’m intellectually “stupid”.

I probably have ADHD, among other things. Maybe I’m not as “emotionally intelligent” as I could be.

But I just can’t do this…

In another life, I could have been a good soldier, or like, maybe a pilot or a train driver. Something “simple”, and routine, and kind of… Generic.

Not because I necessarily wanted to do that sort of “grunt work”, but because it is increasingly seeming like my brain can’t do the other stuff…

Or like fuck, maybe I could’ve been a tour guide or something. Or a museum curator.

If we still lived in a world where those things paid a livable wage, and didn’t require extensive study anyway, maybe I still would go that way…

But regardless, that’s never been a path I could pursue.

I just… Can’t. So, much though I hate academia, and suck terribly at it, I’m still going and going and going, because I need that fucking piece of paper… 😑