I can't believe how terrible my entire family is being about this (see previous post. But, if anything, they've actually doubled down on it, and gotten worse, in subsequent days)...

I didn't get to help pack up my grandfather's room. I didn't even get to see it. They didn't even ask, or tell, me, before they did it. I didn't get to see the photos, or the furniture, or anything. Let alone his... Body.

And now my mother is spying on me (not unusual, in my life experience). Making sure I don't "shit talk" her, or the rest of the family...

My cousin is coming over this afternoon to "collectively mourn", lecture me, and take all the family photos we have, because she is assigned to organize the funeral presentation. I offered to help. They (mother, cousin, et al.) said no... Because my cousin is the "smart, successful" one, and so she will be "better at it".

Honestly, at this point I'm actually considering skipping the funeral, and just... Leaving. Because they've had their chance. They've burned me enough. They continue to hurt me, at every given chance. Fuck them all...

If y'all see this - yeah, this is what abuse looks like, in adulthood. Trust me, burn those bridges while you can, because they never stop hurting you, and anyone else you might bring into "your circle", if you don't.

My father told me to shut the fuck up and stop being a histrionic loser, last night. My father. A day after I learned I had missed the death of my last grandfather. And my mother just said it was MY FAULT for not helping clear out the room, EVEN THOUGH I OFFERED... Two days after he died. Two days (!!). Fuck this fucking bullshit...

Jesus fucking christ on a stick (apologies). Is this what banal evil is? Because fuck me dead if this isn't morally repugnant...

I can't believe how terrible my entire family is being about this (see previous post. But, if anything, they've actually doubled down on it, and gotten worse, in subsequent days)...

I didn't get to help pack up my grandfather's room. I didn't even get to see it. They didn't even ask, or tell, me, before they did it. I didn't get to see the photos, or the furniture, or anything. Let alone his... Body.

And now my mother is spying on me (not unusual, in my life experience). Making sure I don't "shit talk" her, or the rest of the family...

My cousin is coming over this afternoon to "collectively mourn", lecture me, and take all the family photos we have, because she is assigned to organize the funeral presentation. I offered to help. They (mother, cousin, et al.) said no... Because my cousin is the "smart, successful" one, and so she will be "better at it".

Honestly, at this point I'm actually considering skipping the funeral, and just... Leaving. Because they've had their chance. They've burned me enough. They continue to hurt me, at every given chance. Fuck them all...

If y'all see this - yeah, this is what abuse looks like, in adulthood. Trust me, burn those bridges while you can, because they never stop hurting you, and anyone else you might bring into "your circle", if you don't.

My father told me to shut the fuck up and stop being a histrionic loser, last night. My father. And my mother just said it was MY FAULT for not helping clear out the room, EVEN THOUGH I OFFERED...

Jesus fucking christ on a stick (apologies). Is this what banal evil is? Because fuck me dead if this isn't morally repugnant...