Emotional abuse DOES work short-term, even on what are otherwise reasonable people, Pick-Up Artists do suggest using "negging", after all, and they get strong returns on their efforts. I won't argue it. But that lack of honesty is not good at the personal OR societal level, and will not net you a long-term partner in any healthy way. Perhaps he was following the advice of this columnist and calling you clingy and dumb because that is what this woman thinks women want and he's following the guidebook? Or perhaps he was an asshole? A world of possibilities.

I think given your statements, you're working the wrong target market. There's a VERY large demographic of men who date with marriage, with long-term partnerships, in mind. But they're not going to be the hotshot 10/10 men who can "play the field",why would they? Asking for commitment from someone who can get better, it could happen, sure, as you said, different people are different, but it's about generalities. And it isn't going to be the fresh college students at a liberal arts college. But a religious school? A church?

You had an honest conversation, and you got an honest response. Or, at least, I assume it was an honest response and not following some asinine Cosmo-magazine guide. That's the problem with honesty: Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear. The average man needs to approach approximately 40 women before one will reciprocate at even a basic level, if going semi-random (thanks OKCupid contact stats!). You approached ONE, good job, 39 to go. And it hurts just as much as you did, for every single one of them.

There is a difference between "clear and unambiguous", and "untrustworthy". Men ride that difference every single day, some more successfully than others. There's tons of "creepy" guys who are entirely harmless, and "potential mate" guys who should be very untrustworthy. It's a matter of practice. If you act like the Watamote girl, yeah, that's creepy. If you're batting way out of your strike range (be it either direction, too hot for someone, or too ugly for them), it's untrustworthy because the reason you're there isn't obvious. Still comes down to honesty: They honestly can't understand why you're there, and you have a very small window to explain it to their satisfaction.

And if you're Christmas Cake, that... sucks. ("No good after the 25th"). Because you then have another layer of honesty to explain: Why are you unpaired? What severe flaw has stopped you from securing a mate at the height of your sexual value? Like it or not, MOST men will like a woman being frank and honest with them. Liking it doesn't mean they'll like you.

If you're in an area without mask laws, where you can actually engage in mating rituals, put on your battle uniform, and go to a bar. Go to every single man in that bar. And say "I'm doing a survey to prove a guy wrong on the internet that thinks he knows more about men than I do, mind answering a few quick questions? Would you like it if a girl you thought was attractive came up to you and casually said she thought you were attractive in some way and asked you on a date to test the waters? Would you accept the offer if you were available to? Would you ghost her if she said she was hoping for a longer-term relationship than a one-night stand after that date if it went well?"

See your results. The chance exists that, in your society, emotive norms are incredibly different than mine, perhaps you'll get a large pile of "no, no, yes" answers. It's possible. But I doubt it. And that would be in a bar, the land of one-night-stands, not a church or community event or hobby-focused location of obvious immediate shared interests.

Emotional abuse DOES work short-term, even on what are otherwise reasonable people, Pick-Up Artists do suggest using "negging", after all, and they get strong returns on their efforts. I won't argue it. But that lack of honesty is not good at the personal OR societal level, and will not net you a long-term partner in any healthy way. Perhaps he was following the advice of this columnist and calling you clingy and dumb because that is what this woman thinks women want and he's following the guidebook? Or perhaps he was an asshole? A world of possibilities.

I think given your statements, you're working the wrong target market. There's a VERY large demographic of men who date with marriage, with long-term partnerships, in mind. But they're not going to be the hotshot 10/10 men who can "play the field",why would they? Asking for commitment from someone who can get better, it could happen, sure, as you said, different people are different, but it's about generalities. And it isn't going to be the fresh college students at a liberal arts college. But a religious school? A church?

You had an honest conversation, and you got an honest response. Or, at least, I assume it was an honest response and not following some asinine Cosmo-magazine guide. That's the problem with honesty: Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear. The average man needs to approach approximately 40 women before one will reciprocate at even a basic level, if going semi-random (thanks OKCupid contact stats!). You approached ONE, good job, 39 to go. And it hurts just as much as you did, for every single one of them.

There is a difference between "clear and unambiguous", and "untrustworthy". Men ride that difference every single day, some more successfully than others. There's tons of "creepy" guys who are entirely harmless, and "potential mate" guys who should be very untrustworthy. It's a matter of practice. If you act like the Watamote girl, yeah, that's creepy. If you're batting way out of your strike range (be it either direction, too hot for someone, or too ugly for them), it's untrustworthy because the reason you're there isn't obvious. Still comes down to honesty: They honestly can't understand why you're there, and you have a very small window to explain it to their satisfaction.

And if you're Christmas Cake, that... sucks. ("No good after the 25th"). Because you then have another layer of honesty to explain: Why are you unpaired? What severe flaw has stopped you from securing a mate at the height of your sexual value? Like it or not, MOST men will like a woman being frank and honest with them. Liking it doesn't mean they'll like you.

If you're in an area without mask laws, where you can actually engage in mating rituals, put on your battle uniform, and go to a bar. Go to every single man in that bar. And say "I'm doing a survey to prove a guy wrong on the internet that thinks he knows more about men than I do, mind answering a few quick questions? Would you like it if a girl you thought was attractive came up to you and casually said she thought you were attractive in some way and asked you on a date to test the waters? Would you accept the offer if you were available to? Would you ghost her if she said she was hoping for a longer-term relationship than a one-night stand?"

See your results. The chance exists that, in your society, emotive norms are incredibly different than mine, perhaps you'll get a large pile of "no, no, yes" answers. It's possible. But I doubt it. And that would be in a bar, the land of one-night-stands, not a church or community event or hobby-focused location of obvious immediate shared interests.

Emotional abuse DOES work short-term, even on what are otherwise reasonable people, Pick-Up Artists do suggest using "negging", after all, and they get strong returns on their efforts. I won't argue it. But that lack of honesty is not good at the personal OR societal level, and will not net you a long-term partner in any healthy way. Perhaps he was following the advice of this columnist and calling you clingy and dumb because that is what this woman thinks women want and he's following the guidebook? Or perhaps he was an asshole? A world of possibilities.

I think given your statements, you're working the wrong target market. There's a VERY large demographic of men who date with marriage, with long-term partnerships, in mind. But they're not going to be the hotshot 10/10 men who can "play the field",why would they? Asking for commitment from someone who can get better, it could happen, sure, as you said, different people are different, but it's about generalities. And it isn't going to be the fresh college students at a liberal arts college. But a religious school? A church?

You had an honest conversation, and you got an honest response. Or, at least, I assume it was an honest response and not following some asinine Cosmo-magazine guide. That's the problem with honesty: Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear. The average man needs to approach approximately 40 women before one will reciprocate at even a basic level, if going semi-random (thanks OKCupid contact stats!). You approached ONE, good job, 39 to go. And it hurts just as much as you did, for every single one of them.

There is a difference between "clear and unambiguous", and "untrustworthy". Men ride that difference every single day, some more successfully than others. There's tons of "creepy" guys who are entirely harmless, and "potential mate" guys who should be very untrustworthy. It's a matter of practice. If you act like the Watamote girl, yeah, that's creepy. If you're batting way out of your strike range (be it either direction, too hot for someone, or too ugly for them), it's untrustworthy because the reason you're there isn't obvious. Still comes down to honesty: They honestly can't understand why you're there, and you have a very small window to explain it to their satisfaction.

And if you're Christmas Cake, that... sucks. ("No good after the 25th"). Because you then have another layer of honesty to explain: Why are you unpaired? What severe flaw has stopped you from securing a mate at the height of your sexual value? Like it or not, MOST men will like a woman being frank and honest with them. Liking it doesn't mean they'll like you.

If you're in an area without mask laws, where you can actually engage in mating rituals, put on your battle uniform, and go to a bar. Go to every single man in that bar. And say "I'm doing a survey to prove a guy wrong on the internet that thinks he knows more about men than I do, mind answering a few quick questions? Would you like it if a girl you thought was attractive came up to you and casually said she thought you were attractive in some way and asked you on a date to test the waters? Would you accept the offer if you were available to? Would you ghost her if she said she was hoping for a longer-term relationship than a one-night stand?"

See your results. The chance exists that, in your society, emotive norms are incredibly different than mine, perhaps you'll get a large pile of "no, no, yes" answers. It's possible. But I doubt it.

Emotional abuse DOES work short-term, even on what are otherwise reasonable people, Pick-Up Artists do suggest using "negging", after all, and they get strong returns on their efforts. I won't argue it. But that lack of honesty is not good at the personal OR societal level, and will not net you a long-term partner in any healthy way. Perhaps he was following the advice of this columnist and calling you clingy and dumb because that is what this woman thinks women want and he's following the guidebook? Or perhaps he was an asshole? A world of possibilities.

I think given your statements, you're working the wrong target market. There's a VERY large demographic of men who date with marriage, with long-term partnerships, in mind. But they're not going to be the hotshot 10/10 men who can "play the field",why would they? Asking for commitment from someone who can get better, it could happen, sure, as you said, different people are different, but it's about generalities. And it isn't going to be the fresh college students at a liberal arts college. But a religious school? A church?

You had an honest conversation, and you got an honest response. Or, at least, I assume it was an honest response and not following some asinine Cosmo-magazine guide. That's the problem with honesty: Sometimes it isn't what you want to hear. The average man needs to approach approximately 40 women before one will reciprocate at even a basic level, if going semi-random (thanks OKCupid contact stats!). You approached ONE, good job, 39 to go. And it hurts just as much as you did, for every single one of them.

There is a difference between "clear and unambiguous", and "untrustworthy". Men ride that difference every single day, some more successfully than others. There's tons of "creepy" guys who are entirely harmless, and "potential mate" guys who should be very untrustworthy. It's a matter of practice. If you act like the Watamote girl, yeah, that's creepy. If you're batting way out of your strike range (be it either direction, too hot for someone, or too ugly for them), it's untrustworthy because the reason you're there isn't obvious. Still comes down to honesty: They honestly can't understand why you're there, and you have a very small window to explain it to their satisfaction.

And if you're Christmas Cake, that... sucks. ("No good after the 25th"). Because you then have another layer of honesty to explain: Why are you unpaired? What severe flaw has stopped you from securing a mate at the height of your sexual value? Like it or not, MOST men will like a woman being frank and honest with them. Liking it doesn't mean they'll like you.

If you're in an area without mask laws, where you can actually engage in mating rituals, put on your battle uniform, and go to a bar. Go to every single man in that bar. And say "I'm doing a survey to prove a guy wrong on the internet that thinks he knows more about men than I do, mind answering a few quick questions? Would you like it if a girl you thought was attractive came up to you and casually said she thought you were attractive in some way and asked you on a date? Would you accept the offer if you were available to? Would you ghost her if she said she was hoping for a longer-term relationship than a one-night stand?"

See your results. The chance exists that, in your society, emotive norms are incredibly different than mine, perhaps you'll get a large pile of "no, no, yes" answers. It's possible. But I doubt it.