I'm trying to navigate this hellscape of a dating scene- bisexual girl over here, feminist over there... And I can really empathize with them, even though I view the world politically very differently than they do. Thought I might share that view with you all at KIA2.
One suggested I read Roxanne Gay's Bad Feminist, and I opted to at least listen to a summary of the book. And my mind makes connections.
"Reality TV...Rock of Love, relationships defined by flowing alcohol, forced Interactions, vicious conflict, stripper poles..." I don't know about stripper poles, but my brother- Christian, right-wing, 8 years in military+now going to law school- checks all the other boxes. Drinks too much, loves strife and brings it home to his (direct and extended) family, so forceful and insistent on having everything exactly the way he wants, with zero considerations to the wants and needs of others, that on his bookshelf he even has a book titled, "The Little Book on Getting Your Way".
And then..."Rape Culture- Men's Agression and Violence Normalized." I've watched my brother have to apologize to his wife for throwing things... 10 years ago, I watched him punch holes in walls and break down doors in his anger towards me. I've watched him not care for his wife or kids- he got two daughters, but he really wanted a son. He had sex out of wedlock at least once with a girl other than his current wife...But I would guess his actual body count was more than just two. And then, when our father died, he got so drunk he was flirting with other women, as a married man.
And so, I can't help but wonder if it's not """Christian""", right-wing men like my brother driving the feminist movement forward.
I start to see the current political landscape from the lens of men vs. women, with externalizers wrongfully lashing out in anger and impulsively acting on selfish desires, and internalizers, also wrongfully, deeply resenting and seeking vengeance for the harm those externalizers have caused.
And I wonder how we could ever sort out our differences- how to find the third path forward, where, even with greater emotional maturity on the part of both men and women (no externalizing or internalizing), men are seeking wedlock / family / stay-at-home mom's / etc., whereas women are seeking sexual freedom / abortion / homosexuality / one-night stands / etc. How could those differences ever be worked out, without trying to mold others to our liking, without trying to manipulate or control or deceive? (I can imagine someone commenting that women are more malleable... I'm against manipulative, controlling behaviors regardless. Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the like are a scam.)
I'm Christian. And Right-Wing. But I'm not my brother. I don't drink. I haven't been punching holes in walls in fits of rage. I haven't had sex and don't intend to until I get married. I just want to find a wife and start a family.
Where is the path forward, how are Christian, right-wing men to make it through this world, when so many other men also call themselves Christian as they cause destruction and strife and chaos in their wake? Where is the path forward when women have come to hate all that could be good for them- God, men, marriage, family, children, etc.- and love all that will likely be bad for them- abortion, sex out of wedlock, career, LGBT, etc...?
Just a lost soul trying to find his way. Thanks for reading.
Unfortunately there's no straightforward universal answer to this and to coin a corny catch phrase "Everyone's different". You have one advantage to you though that most people don't have in this dating scene and you are picking up on the huge amount of negativity and outright abuse people are heaping on each other when it comes to either gender and you understand where the attitudes are coming from.
I'm not religious at all, but I see the exact same thing you have and I'd like to be able to start a family too. Awhile back as a bit of a challenge to myself I went on tinder and other dating sites to see if I could even talk to some actual women. 99% percent of them are bots actually, it was remarkable how many spammers I was getting, so that alone was depressing enough. However looking at the profiles that even seemed to be made by human beings. The women didn't actually write a lot about themselves but about all of the negative things they'd seen in men and the men they were 'not' looking for.
Absolutely nothing about their background of course or any kind of hobbies. Which is what's partly lead me to believe they don't have any and they're covering it up because understandably it would be a point of embarrassment for them. When I did end up finding one or two to talk to most of them had nothing to say and it was spammers pretending to be human beings that ironically did the most convincing impressions of a woman with actual interests.
I did kind of point my weaponised autism at this one and this is why I know so much. As for the whole women vs men thing yes exactly. These women have clearly have sometimes had bad experiences in life, which is why on the left especially if you find that the worse man haters are often women who have surrounded themselves with pretty awful men most of their lives and they blame the right for it. Same deal with men of course having dealt with awful women in their lives. Except they've identified more accurately where the problem lies instead of allowing themselves to be taken advantage of by idealogues the way women have.
My sympathy with leftist women completely vanishes of course when they completely buy into the bullshit they've been sold and go out of their way to ruin men's lives because of what's happened to them when in the same breath they'd hate on all the manosphere movements for doing the same thing with their typical double standards.
As for solutions? Hobbies is my main advocacy, however, we can't have hobbies as long as SJWs keep infiltrating them and ruining any interaction between men and women. We need to drive them out and make sure they never come back. That way then local or online groups can start forming and social relationships can form without them ruining everything with drama constantly.
By the way, another great example of what you describe is like when you have anti-Christian boomers posting online. They clearly had an upbringing in a religious family that was pretty fucked and you can see how they came to their conclusions. Meanwhile of course, they have a blind spot to everything else.
What to do when the SJWs and the women are one and the same...? When the women I find in the hobbies I pursue are already capture by the idealogues...? I recall Galatians 6:1 - restoring someone who has done wrong in a spirit of gentleness. I think it might be a very difficult thing to do- to not control, nor manipulate, to not critize or condemn or drive out, but gently work through the difficult conversations together somehow... But I think the hardest things to do may tend to be the most rewarding, too.
It goes back to my ranting about forming our own groups and gatekeeping the fuck out of the normies because they're often the ones who open the gates for SJWs. People who actually enjoy the hobby and fit in can stay regardless of who they are.
I mean I fucking love as well how a recent example of this showed itself with some normie trying to comment on chainsaw man and trying to claim men's takes on it were problematic, you tell those types of people to fuck off. We've got to learn how to build our own shit again and stop relying on other people.
The guy on this site who decided to go and make his own non-woke mod hub is a great example of this. You don't have to be overtly anti-SJW or anything, just gatekeep them.
Yes exactly, it hits you like a ton of bricks when you realise, also explains why these very same women massively overshare on social media about their private lives. It's the tech equivalent of gossiping except now women have made this shit go global which is why it's such cancer. Instead of it being just a gaggle of chatty women in a bar somewhere you now have women from different cities sharing shit amongst themselves with sometimes pretty fucked up consequences.
I couldn't really understand this about women initially precisely because I'm lucky enough that I do actually have real hobbies and interests, but it does explain as well why I can't gel with them and other normies. Genuinely can't understand how people do this 9 - 5 lifestyle and then go out drinking each weekend it sounds boring as fuck but of course maybe they'd claim the exact same about what I do.