We raised both our sons as gender neutral as possible, with gender neutral clothes, toys, and language. While we did use he/him pronouns and others in their life called them boys, we did not call them boys, or even tell them that they were boys. We made all language gender neutral. In everyday reading of books or descriptions of people in our lives, we did not say "man" or "woman," we said "people." We thought we were doing the right and best thing, both for them and for the world. (...)
At around four years old, my son began to ask me if he was a boy or a girl. Instead of telling him he was a boy, I told him he could choose. I didn't use those words—I thought I could be more sophisticated than that. I told him, "When babies are born with a penis, they are called boys, and when babies are born with a vagina, they are called girls. But some babies who are born with a penis can be girls, and some babies born with a vagina can be boys. It all depends on what you feel deep inside." He continued to ask me what he was, and I continued to repeat these lines. I resolved my inner conflict by "leading" my son with this framework—you can be born with a penis, but still be a girl inside. I thought I was doing the right thing, for him, and for the world.
His question, and my response to it, would come back to haunt me for years, and continues to haunt me now. What I know now is that I was "leading"—I was leading my innocent, sensitive child down a path of lies that were a direct on-ramp to psychological damage and life-long irreversible medical intervention. All in the name of love, acceptance, and liberation.
Anyone who is suicidal should be instantly cured by just being informed that at the very least, he is not a slavish folllower of The Current Thing.
Watching my old employer drop mandates and beg us all to come back - that’s something, at least.
Wait, what? Mandates in Australia? Don't you guys have employee protection/privacy laws preventing that sort of thing?
But… It’s just not as simple as that. I wish it was.
I understand. But look man, your mind loves to play tricks on you. People have lived in misery that was unimaginable for you and me, and yet they persevered - even when there was no prospect of things getting better because they were medieval peasants. Modernity makes people sick.
Just gotta keep going and hope it eventually gets a tiny bit better, I suppose.
The best thing about a terrible situation is that it can only get better. I say go to the gym daily until it does.
Wait, what? Mandates in Australia? Don't you guys have employee protection/privacy laws preventing that sort of thing?
Assuming this is not sarcastic... Australians will love to tell you that we have "strong employee protection laws" and no "at will employment" here, but... From extensive experience, it really isn't that simple.
I, unfortunately, have only ever been employed either on a contract, or casually. Thus, while my hourly rate is technically higher than the full-time equivalent, you lack any of these protections. So it's incredibly easy to sack me with very little recourse on my part. I knew that even before Covid, and Covid only made that even clearer...
But I also know more "permanent" employees in my "industry" of the time (the Australian Public Service), who were also let go, when mandates came in.
You'll find that "employee protection" and "privacy" laws only apply, in Australia, when it's convenient for TPTB. In this case, everyone with power was on the side of "enforcing mandates", so therefore those laws were largely made moot. The courts wouldn't support workers. The Human Rights Commission ignored it. Etc.
It really just shows you how weak those laws are, in a place like this, in reality.
So yeah, I'm afraid that's just not how it panned out. Many big businesses do still in fact have those mandates, even after they have been officially dropped. Pretty sure I lied on my last job application about it, even, so that will be interesting, if it comes up at interview...
Assuming this is not sarcastic... Australians will love to tell you that we have "strong employee protection laws" and no "at will employment" here, but... From extensive experience, it really isn't that simple.
It's not sarcastic, I assumed Australia to be similar to Europe on the matter.
Here (at least where I am), the funny thing was that even establishments where you had to show a corona passport, were not legally allowed to ask their employees for vaccination. The justification for this is that you don't have to go to a bar to have a drink, but the employees rely on working their for their livelihood. And I was glad to have less nonsense rather than more.
I, unfortunately, have only ever been employed either on a contract, or casually. Thus, while my hourly rate is technically higher than the full-time equivalent, you lack any of these protections. So it's incredibly easy to sack me with very little recourse on my part. I knew that even before Covid, and Covid only made that even clearer...
Not sure this would fly. Even in cases where there is at will employment, like with temporary contracts, if you can demonstrate that your contract was not extended due to something illegal (like requiring vaccination), you could sue for damages and/or reinstatement. At least, that's how it works here.
You'll find that "employee protection" and "privacy" laws only apply, in Australia, when it's convenient for TPTB. In this case, everyone with power was on the side of "enforcing mandates", so therefore those laws were largely made moot. The courts wouldn't support workers. The Human Rights Commission ignored it. Etc.
Yes, that is unfortunately fairly universal. However, employee protections are so well-established in Europe, that they are upheld even when they go against the interests of TPTB.
Many big businesses do still in fact have those mandates, even after they have been officially dropped. Pretty sure I lied on my last job application about it, even, so that will be interesting, if it comes up at interview...
Incredible. The gall of these people to interfere with such matters. Assuming you're not working with 90-year-old patients with diabetes...
I understand. But look man, your mind loves to play tricks on you. People have lived in misery that was unimaginable for you and me, and yet they persevered - even when there was no prospect of things getting better because they were medieval peasants. Modernity makes people sick.
Yes, I know this. It's just that my life is... Not just "not where I would want it to be", but objectively in a worse place than almost literally everyone I know... To the point of embarrassment and shame. Which has led me to become isolated. Which obviously makes things worse...
I am trying to turn this around, but it's actually much harder than even I likely imagined it would be. Possible? Yes, but much easier said than done...
As for the mind bit: Funnily enough, I recently tried an SSRI. It just made me worse, and also sick and weak. So... While brain chemistry of course plays a part in this, as does perception - when your life is a mess, unfortunately none of that shit is going to make much difference, I would say...
But anyway, I'm trying to fix as much as I can.
The best thing about a terrible situation is that it can only get better. I say go to the gym daily until it does.
I literally can't afford the gym right now, lol. And it's fairly pointless getting a new membership until I move cities again (soon, hopefully). But yeah. I just run. And sometimes ride. That's my equivalent, I guess.
Yes, I know this. It's just that my life is... Not just "not where I would want it to be", but objectively in a worse place than almost literally everyone I know...
Comparison is a terrible adviser. A lot of my friends justify their awfulness by saying that they are better than most people. That really is no excuse. Some people are down on their luck, while others are up on their luck - and the latter group then coasts based on that.
People who have the best lives are not those who coast, but who encounter adversity and overcome it. When you are top dog, there is nowhere to go but down, but when you're down, there's nowhere to go but up.
To the point of embarrassment and shame. Which has led me to become isolated.
I unfortunately know someone like that. There is absolutely no embarrassment or shame in being objectively in a worse place. I think no worse of people who are down on their luck, or even people who squander opportunities, nor does anyone else.
I rarely recommend this to anyone, because I think therapy is generally bunk, and you might think it arrogant for me to give you advice on this, but I really think cognitive-behavioral therapy would do you good. Because this sounds like something you talked yourself into, and someone needs to talk you out of it, to put it crudely.
As for the mind bit: Funnily enough, I recently tried an SSRI. It just made me worse, and also sick and weak. So... While brain chemistry of course plays a part in this, as does perception - when your life is a mess, unfortunately none of that shit is going to make much difference, I would say...
There was a recent study that claimed SSRIs don't even work, because serotonin is not the cause of depression. That said, from whatever little I have learned about your situation, I don't think you are depressed, just miserable.
But anyway, I'm trying to fix as much as I can.
You better!
I literally can't afford the gym right now, lol. And it's fairly pointless getting a new membership until I move cities again (soon, hopefully). But yeah. I just run. And sometimes ride. That's my equivalent, I guess.
Anaerobic is also good for you. Not to mention the social aspects of a gym. Said the guy who hasn't been to the gym since corona.
As I wrote these replies out, my Uni just contacted me to say that I have been approved for re-enrolment...
This is a massive, life-changing thing, for me. It's hope, and it's an opportunity to start over. I needed that. I absolutely needed this more than almost anything, right now.
So... It's not "over". I just have to turn things around. This gives me the chance to do that.
I haven't been able to sleep for months, worrying over whether they would approve this, so thank the fucking fuck, this is pretty immense.
I guess this shouldn't be such an "identity defining" thing, but man, just the sweet relief of being given a lifeline here is something that is hard to explain, I think.
Now I have to make the most of this chance, of course.
As I wrote these replies out, my Uni just contacted me to say that I have been approved for re-enrolment...
Up we go! Good luck rubs off on you when I talks with you.
I haven't been able to sleep for months, worrying over whether they would approve this, so thank the fucking fuck, this is pretty immense.
God, that sounds awful. Maybe get your hands on some Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius. You worry too much about things you can't do anything about. We all do, but it may be a bit worse for you than for the rest of us.
It's also strange to me that they can apparently reject people based on arbitrary criteria. I always knew if I would be approved for re-enrollment or not.
Now I have to make the most of this chance, of course.
Do your best. But even if you had not been approved, there's a thousand ways to live well without a college degree.
Wait, what? Mandates in Australia? Don't you guys have employee protection/privacy laws preventing that sort of thing?
Assuming this is not sarcastic... Australians will love to tell you that we have "strong employee protection laws" and no "at will employment" here, but... From extensive experience, it really isn't that simple.
I, unfortunately, have only ever been employed either on a contract, or casually. Thus, while my hourly rate is technically higher than the full-time equivalent, you lack any of these protections. So it's incredibly easy to sack me with very little recourse on my part. I knew that even before Covid, and Covid only made that even clearer...
But I also know more "permanent" employees in my "industry" of the time (the Australian Public Service), who were also let go, when mandates came in.
You'll find that "employee protection" and "privacy" laws only apply, in Australia, when it's convenient for TPTB. In this case, everyone with power was on the side of "enforcing mandates", so therefore those laws were largely made moot. The courts wouldn't support workers. The Human Rights Commission ignored it. Etc.
It really just shows you how weak those laws are, in a place like this, in reality.
So yeah, I'm afraid that's just not how it panned out. Many big businesses do still in fact have those mandates, even after they have been officially dropped. Pretty sure I lied on my last job application about it, even, so that will be interesting, if it comes up at interview...
Her article about this affair.
Anyone who is suicidal should be instantly cured by just being informed that at the very least, he is not a slavish folllower of The Current Thing.
I really wish your last sentence were true…
Does feel somewhat “nice” to be vindicated about some of this stuff, though, I guess…
Watching my old employer drop mandates and beg us all to come back - that’s something, at least.
But… It’s just not as simple as that. I wish it was.
Just gotta keep going and hope it eventually gets a tiny bit better, I suppose.
Wait, what? Mandates in Australia? Don't you guys have employee protection/privacy laws preventing that sort of thing?
I understand. But look man, your mind loves to play tricks on you. People have lived in misery that was unimaginable for you and me, and yet they persevered - even when there was no prospect of things getting better because they were medieval peasants. Modernity makes people sick.
The best thing about a terrible situation is that it can only get better. I say go to the gym daily until it does.
Assuming this is not sarcastic... Australians will love to tell you that we have "strong employee protection laws" and no "at will employment" here, but... From extensive experience, it really isn't that simple.
I, unfortunately, have only ever been employed either on a contract, or casually. Thus, while my hourly rate is technically higher than the full-time equivalent, you lack any of these protections. So it's incredibly easy to sack me with very little recourse on my part. I knew that even before Covid, and Covid only made that even clearer...
But I also know more "permanent" employees in my "industry" of the time (the Australian Public Service), who were also let go, when mandates came in.
You'll find that "employee protection" and "privacy" laws only apply, in Australia, when it's convenient for TPTB. In this case, everyone with power was on the side of "enforcing mandates", so therefore those laws were largely made moot. The courts wouldn't support workers. The Human Rights Commission ignored it. Etc.
It really just shows you how weak those laws are, in a place like this, in reality.
So yeah, I'm afraid that's just not how it panned out. Many big businesses do still in fact have those mandates, even after they have been officially dropped. Pretty sure I lied on my last job application about it, even, so that will be interesting, if it comes up at interview...
It's not sarcastic, I assumed Australia to be similar to Europe on the matter.
Here (at least where I am), the funny thing was that even establishments where you had to show a corona passport, were not legally allowed to ask their employees for vaccination. The justification for this is that you don't have to go to a bar to have a drink, but the employees rely on working their for their livelihood. And I was glad to have less nonsense rather than more.
Not sure this would fly. Even in cases where there is at will employment, like with temporary contracts, if you can demonstrate that your contract was not extended due to something illegal (like requiring vaccination), you could sue for damages and/or reinstatement. At least, that's how it works here.
Yes, that is unfortunately fairly universal. However, employee protections are so well-established in Europe, that they are upheld even when they go against the interests of TPTB.
Incredible. The gall of these people to interfere with such matters. Assuming you're not working with 90-year-old patients with diabetes...
Now, onto the rest:
Yes, I know this. It's just that my life is... Not just "not where I would want it to be", but objectively in a worse place than almost literally everyone I know... To the point of embarrassment and shame. Which has led me to become isolated. Which obviously makes things worse... I am trying to turn this around, but it's actually much harder than even I likely imagined it would be. Possible? Yes, but much easier said than done...
As for the mind bit: Funnily enough, I recently tried an SSRI. It just made me worse, and also sick and weak. So... While brain chemistry of course plays a part in this, as does perception - when your life is a mess, unfortunately none of that shit is going to make much difference, I would say...
But anyway, I'm trying to fix as much as I can.
I literally can't afford the gym right now, lol. And it's fairly pointless getting a new membership until I move cities again (soon, hopefully). But yeah. I just run. And sometimes ride. That's my equivalent, I guess.
Comparison is a terrible adviser. A lot of my friends justify their awfulness by saying that they are better than most people. That really is no excuse. Some people are down on their luck, while others are up on their luck - and the latter group then coasts based on that.
People who have the best lives are not those who coast, but who encounter adversity and overcome it. When you are top dog, there is nowhere to go but down, but when you're down, there's nowhere to go but up.
I unfortunately know someone like that. There is absolutely no embarrassment or shame in being objectively in a worse place. I think no worse of people who are down on their luck, or even people who squander opportunities, nor does anyone else.
I rarely recommend this to anyone, because I think therapy is generally bunk, and you might think it arrogant for me to give you advice on this, but I really think cognitive-behavioral therapy would do you good. Because this sounds like something you talked yourself into, and someone needs to talk you out of it, to put it crudely.
There was a recent study that claimed SSRIs don't even work, because serotonin is not the cause of depression. That said, from whatever little I have learned about your situation, I don't think you are depressed, just miserable.
You better!
Anaerobic is also good for you. Not to mention the social aspects of a gym. Said the guy who hasn't been to the gym since corona.
As I wrote these replies out, my Uni just contacted me to say that I have been approved for re-enrolment...
This is a massive, life-changing thing, for me. It's hope, and it's an opportunity to start over. I needed that. I absolutely needed this more than almost anything, right now.
So... It's not "over". I just have to turn things around. This gives me the chance to do that.
I haven't been able to sleep for months, worrying over whether they would approve this, so thank the fucking fuck, this is pretty immense.
I guess this shouldn't be such an "identity defining" thing, but man, just the sweet relief of being given a lifeline here is something that is hard to explain, I think.
Now I have to make the most of this chance, of course.
Up we go! Good luck rubs off on you when I talks with you.
God, that sounds awful. Maybe get your hands on some Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius. You worry too much about things you can't do anything about. We all do, but it may be a bit worse for you than for the rest of us.
It's also strange to me that they can apparently reject people based on arbitrary criteria. I always knew if I would be approved for re-enrollment or not.
Do your best. But even if you had not been approved, there's a thousand ways to live well without a college degree.
Assuming this is not sarcastic... Australians will love to tell you that we have "strong employee protection laws" and no "at will employment" here, but... From extensive experience, it really isn't that simple.
I, unfortunately, have only ever been employed either on a contract, or casually. Thus, while my hourly rate is technically higher than the full-time equivalent, you lack any of these protections. So it's incredibly easy to sack me with very little recourse on my part. I knew that even before Covid, and Covid only made that even clearer...
But I also know more "permanent" employees in my "industry" of the time (the Australian Public Service), who were also let go, when mandates came in.
You'll find that "employee protection" and "privacy" laws only apply, in Australia, when it's convenient for TPTB. In this case, everyone with power was on the side of "enforcing mandates", so therefore those laws were largely made moot. The courts wouldn't support workers. The Human Rights Commission ignored it. Etc.
It really just shows you how weak those laws are, in a place like this, in reality.
So yeah, I'm afraid that's just not how it panned out. Many big businesses do still in fact have those mandates, even after they have been officially dropped. Pretty sure I lied on my last job application about it, even, so that will be interesting, if it comes up at interview...